ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Ahem.
Sorry.
Weight loss this week? Not so much. Mental attitude about weight loss this week? Really crappy. I really do try to only weigh once or twice a week. On weeks like this last week, when I'm super aware of everything I'm putting in my mouth and how much and with what intensity I'm working out, it's really hard to stay off the scale. This is a problem because some part of me needs to see the numbers getting lower to stay super motivated. Especially when there are Nutter Butter bites (which I bought thinking they would be a piece of cake to resist like the last two or three bags I brought into the house) in the pantry that I swear I can smell through the closed bag, closed pantry door, and upstairs around the corner when I'm lying in bed. No kidding. I even had a dream about eating them, and woke up in panic, because for a few seconds, I wasn't sure if it was a dream or not. There is something seriously wrong with me.
By Thursday, I was sure I'd at least lost a couple pounds. I was actually hungry most of the time last week, which is really unusual. So I got on the scale. Nada. Not even a pound. Not even ONE measly pound. I should have lost that much in sweat, if nothing else. I tried to shake it off, stay focused, not stray from the brown rice, steamed veggie path I was on. And I did okay - not great, but okay - until later that night, when I think I actually ate everything I could get my hands on except steamed veggies or brown rice.
Logically, I get that it's an ongoing process. I understand that for me, weight loss, healthy eating, and getting enough exercise are things that I'll always have to work on. On most days, I'm okay with that. It's worth it when the kids ask for fruit as a snack, or make healthy choices when we go out to eat. I know that my lifestyle changes are working out when I see them reflected in the kids. I still can't get them to eat a salad, but they'll pretty much eat anything that goes on a salad except for lettuce. I'm good with that.
But this week, I'm frustrated and disappointed that the number on the scale didn't move. I'm embarrassed that I went so easily back to my old habits of soothing myself with food. I'm mortified that I posted what I ate those days for the world to see. I'm grumpy that I've been hungry and sweaty all week and my upper arms and thighs are still just as jiggly. I kid you not, all I could think about Thursday and Friday was "I'm not losing weight eating well, so I might as well eat what I want." Not a productive way to look at this process.
SO.
Deep breath. I'm stepping back on the path. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, maybe I can get some help or answers there. We'll see. I know I didn't get to be this size overnight, so the weight won't come off overnight. Weeks like last week really do make me want to try out for the Biggest Loser. They really do. Because yes, I still have that much weight to lose.
Food:
Breakfast – none
Lunch - turkey burger on sandwich round w/low fat cheese and 1 tsp ketchup – 350 cal
Baked sweet potato fries 100 cal
Dinner – egg whites on ww sand round 180 cal
Snack – popcorn 100 cal
Almonds 200 cal
Cupcakes 220 cal
Exercise – arc trainer 11 min 154 cal
Zumba moderate 550 cal
Calories in: 1150
Calories burned 704
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