Doesn't the bed look comfy? It totally was!
And then the cruise began. Now I know you guys are expecting a funny story, so this is the best I can do. Our cabin steward, a little guy who hailed from India, was just really nice and sweet and young Really, really young. And probably quite lonely and homesick. I, being immensely appreciative that he would be the one making the bed, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming and dusting for the next six days, was determined to be really nice to him. I think he might have taken it the wrong way, because by day three, he was coming by a lot. Actually, it seemed like he worked around 20 hours a day because he was always doing something in one of the rooms or the hallway.
Saturday morning, I was in the room trying to cool off after my workout and he knocked on our door to bring us ice. We chatted for few minutes and the subject of working out came up (stop laughing, Tina). He asked me what he could do to build up is chest and arms and I said...push ups. He seemed not to know what this meant, so I ended up showing him what a push up was.
Yeah, yeah. I was just trying to be nice. So after our little chat, he gives me a hug. No big deal, right? Right. Only then he started coming by more and more often. I was a little uncomfortable with this - one: I'm happily married, two: I didn't want to give him the wrong idea or lead him on or get him in any kind of trouble, three: when I hid in the bathroom to avoid him, I knew I had to deal with this. I mean, I can't hide forever, right? Especially if I want the bathroom cleaned without having to do it myself.
The night of the bathroom hiding, Tina was giving me a hard time at dinner (good naturedly, of course -- and I did kind of deserve it for showing him push ups. Gullible!) and I was drinking a lot of water. We had purchased soda cards, which meant that you paid a flat fee per day and then got all the soda we could drink. I don't really drink much soda anymore and I was on soda overload so I was missing water. However, by drinking four glasses of water by the main course on top of all the soda I'd had that day, my kidneys and bladder went into hyper drive and I got up to go to the bathroom. The only problem with that? I wasn't sure where the nearest restroom was. So I go outside the dining room...no bathroom. Hmmm. I go down a floor. No bathroom. But - I was only one floor away from the deck where our room was.
Only problem with that? It was clear on the other side of the boat. But I can make it. I take off down the steps and down the hallway. I really, really have to go. And being concerned about having to go and no place in which to do so? Makes me have to go even worse. So, I ran. And when I say ran, I mean I kicked off my shoes, picked them up, and hauled ass. I should mention here that I? Am not so much about the running. And a really full bladder and added pressure from thundering down the hallway like an out of control hippo? Baaaaad idea. By the time I rounded the last corner that led to the hallway to our room, I was in a mild panic. I didn't think I was going to make it. This is one of those times where the lasting effects from a 12 pound baby makes itself known. And there was a little light leakage going on, truth be told. So as I thunder around the corner, I see our cabin steward in the hallway talking to another employee.
Oh, crap. He greets me enthusiastically and I gallop right by, holding my hand up and saying..."Sorry, but I really gotta pee!"
How's THAT for ladylike, hmmm?
And then I have trouble getting my key in to open the door. I fling open the door and the...uh...leakage amps up a little. The one problem with cruise doors? When you fling them open, there's a magnet that holds the door open and it takes a good amount of effort to break the hold and close it. Same is true of the bathroom door. So by the time I get in the room and in the bathroom and get the doors closed, I'm doing what had to be a hilarious pee dance. Luckily my pants were baggy, because I just yank them down. And then I pee for what seems like a half hour. And also? I have to change my pants and undies. Hey, it happens. So I wash them in the sink and hang them up in the shower. I put on new ones and head back to dinner where I tell the girls that I think the problem with the cabin steward had resolved itself. Peeing on yourself tends to do that, I'd guess. Plus, I'm sure he saw the clothes in the shower when he cleaned our bathroom and put two and two together. From that point on, he was nice but way more distant.
And that, ladies? Is how you gently let down an unwanted suitor. Any other relationship advice you may desire can be addressed in the comments section. ::snorts of laughter::
3 comments:
You are cracking me up! I can visualize this happening and also can totally relate to the whole bladder thing! Hilarious!!! :)
LMAO...I love it! Somehow I missed that you were doing these blogs. I have to go back and read them!
Thank you, Christy and Felicia!
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