Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Quiet after noise

If I had to describe today in one word, it would be noisy. Obviously, my kids are the majority of the commotion. Having Angela and Madison here points out how much louder my kids are than most. As if I didn't already know this right?

Hmmm. I wonder if it's because they don't think I listen. (Totally occasionally guilty of that, actually)

Today we ended up at the water park at Six Flags. I was dousing myself with sunscreen before getting into the water and Angela took all three kids into the kiddie area. When I walked up, she was looking around all panicked because she had lost sight of T. I forgot that he tends to take off for the slides without letting anyone know that he's taking off and therefore I forgot to warn her. I was mostly certain that this was the case, so I used some of my remaining post-cruise zen to wait it out.

Sure enough (thankfully), here comes T down one of the slides and back around to us. I stop him in his tracks and explain calmly that he needed to remember to always, always tell the adult where he was heading before he disappears. He agrees, we start to walk towards the main part of the kiddie area when he starts to take off again. I call for him, then again, then again, and then I yell his name. Several people turn and look, but I so do not care. The waterpark was crowded, filled with people we didn't know, there are five of us today and we all needed to make the effort to stay together. Plus, I don't wear my glasses in the water, and the kids need a closer radius so that I can see them. You know, to make sure they aren't drinking pool water or snorting sunscreen or something. You never know with my two what will pop into their head. Case in point? S picks a leaf off some plant and attempts to give me heart attacks (yes, that was meant to be plural) by pretending to lick the leaf, put the leaf in her mouth, and then shove it up her nose. I guess I should be grateful that it was in that order and not reverse because hey, if we are going to make a bad situation worse, shoving a potentially poisonous leaf in your mouth is bad enough, but not AS bad as snot covered potentially poisonous leaf.


So between the normal din of my two and the added noise today of Six Flags and then the stupid Super Mario cartoon that we rented for the kids and watched in the van (yes, I take full responsibility on that one too), there was just a lot of noise.

And now everyone is in bed but me. I'm getting T's stuff ready for his Kindergarten orientation tomorrow; sharpening his pencils, packing his book bag, labeling his stuff...

There is no noise but the rattle of the ceiling fan and the quiet roar of the a/c. No tv, no music, no noise floating down from upstairs. Just me and my mind and quiet. Even my mind is quiet tonight as I see flashes of T from the day he was born until now. My sweet, sweet boy all grown up and full of personality and life. Tonight when I tucked him in, I took an extra moment just to smell his hair. I haven't done that in years, but when he was a baby, I would sniff him all the time. All the baby smells are gone now and he just smells like grass and sky and boy and time passing. The last two days he's been on his best behavior, and I have been most grateful. Perhaps all he needed was for me to be able to quiet my mind and let it focus totally on him for moments at a time. Perhaps all I needed was to stop over thinking and just be totally present.

Tomorrow is the first day of the end of his baby and toddler hood.


1 comment:

Samantha said...

Awww Brooke, I loved that last part. I've been doing the same thing these past couple of weeks as I prepare to send Jackie off to K5 next week. One moment, I'm so excited about school for Jackie but then the next moment, I feel incredibly sad b/c it just seems that she is growing up so quickly