Vanilla and Chocolate

The first time I got married, the current home decor trends consisted of a lot of bold colors - ones like hunter green, navy blue, and burgundy. I am totally, completely, helplessly untrendy. When I try to dress in trendy clothes, I look like 'that woman' who is 60 trying to relive her 20's. Not. Pretty.

I also have no concept of patterns and fabrics and how to blend, match, or pair them. I love to watch HGTV or any other home improvement show and I'm always thinking, "hunh! I had no idea you could do that - or that - or that." These people have talents that I don't think I'll ever develop. In the very early 90's, I had an outfit that I loooooooooooved. It was a rayon shirt that was red, black, and white in a funky blocky pattern and a pair of shorts I always wore with it. I felt so pretty in that outfit - it was comfy, it was similar to what people with any sense of fashion were wearing at the time. I was so proud of myself. I was GETTING it. As my room mate and I were about to go out for the evening, she asked me, "Ugh! Are you really going to wear THAT again?" Apparently mixing a rayon shirt and knit shorts was a big no no. So all this time I'd been walking around thinking I was hot stuff, I apparently looked like an idiot. Which, you know, I think I realized on some level because heavy into my Duran Duran phase in the 80's, I actually went to the mall in black pleated Limited pants (that snapped at the ankle - remember those?!?), a blue and black large checked plaid shirt that was basically a shirt mullet (it came to the waist in the front and had a tail - for lack of a better description - in the back), black leather fingerless gloves, a blue fedora with a black band around it, and to top it ALL off I was wearing blue granny ankle boots with a black lace overlay. Oh the horror! I'm literally mortified just describing the outfit. Thank the good lord there are no pictures. The outfit, paired with my appallingly big hair, my generous 80's makeup (frosted pink lipstick, three inches of foundation, and three coats of BLUE mascara - ugh!) had people laughing at me as I strutted around the mall. Sadly, I didn't care because I KNEW I looked good (insert eye roll here).

Fast forward to today. My color preferences are all neutrals. Does anyone remember that commercial about vanilla being boring? I don't remember if it was for ice cream or something else, but somehow in my mind, I equate beige shades with vanilla and with boring. But hey, I'm kinda boring and it does go with everything, so there ya go. Plus, vanilla is my absolute favorite flavor of ice cream. So, in JC Penney yesterday I'm looking for thermal curtains and I realize - I have no idea what color to choose. The walls here are a yellowish beige, the carpet is a grayish beige, our sofa's were straight up vanilla before all the crayon, apple juice, marker, dirt, food, Cheetos, chocolate milk, and ink pen accidents. Before we left Germany, R shampooed the furniture, which made it look 1000% better, but I guess the stains came back because the couches sure looked nasty to me when they were unloaded. Sigh. The kitchen has a beige base tile with some green and brown thrown in. Since our living room and kitchen flow together, I wanted to get a color that would work with both rooms since the doors we are covering are just about in the middle of it all. So, what colors did I buy? Chocolate brown and vanilla beige. I think the color description on the panels may actually say chocolate and vanilla as the color description. We put the panels up, and decided on the brown curtains. So our house can now literally be described as vanilla and chocolate. At least it's not harvest gold or avocado green, right? Any one else for some ice cream?