Random thoughts about being a Southerner

Mint julep photo courtesy of http://verrillfarm.files.wordpress.com

Okay, I was born and raised in North Carolina, so it's not like being Southern for me meant having a debutante ball or trying to emulate Scarlett O'Hara (not often, anyway). But I'm proud of who I am and where I grew up. It's beautiful, it was safe, the people were nice (well, mostly anyway), and no matter how long it's been since my last visit, when I get there, I feel like I'm home again and it makes me very happy.

While I lived there, I tended to scoff at the idea of 'southern'. It means different things to different people or geographical areas, and the various southern accents sound as different to us as different English accents do to the English - or like how Boston and NYC accents are totally different, but both still considered "Northern".

But today we went to Q'Doba for lunch and I was saying something to S and it sounded really Southern to me. Those of you who know me well already know that my accent is more Midwestern sounding than southern. I'm not sure exactly how that happened, but I have a mild enough accent that most people from the south don't think I was born and raised there. I mean, seriously, I don't even say y'all, unless I'm being snarky or doing an impression. Lest I offend anyone, let me state I've got nothing against the word y'all or its usage. But coming out of my mouth it sounds like I'm doing a really awful Jeff Foxworthy impression. Not pretty.

It was an occasional joke among some of my friends and I that whomever didn't like ________ couldn't possibly be a good southerner. I got crap for not eating mayo (shudder), Nicole who considers herself to be a proper southerner doesn't like iced tea (the horror!), and Angie doesn't eat fried chicken (heresy!).

Because I obviously had too much free time this weekend, I was thinking about all the ways I have betrayed my southern roots and thought I'd present a list to see if you guys think I've lost my mind or if I might be onto something. Or on something. You get the idea.

Here goes:

I loathe mayo. I don't want it on or in anything I eat. Have you ever tried eating chicken salad with no mayo? It can be done and it still tastes yummy. My dislike of mayo also rules out most salad dressings, which is okay because I prefer my salad undressed anyway.

I don't like any sort of cooked greens. I'd rather eat seaweed, and yes, I've tried them before.

Gravy does not, in fact, make everything better.

Just meat + potatoes does not make a well balanced meal.

It irks me for people to refer to pre sweetened iced tea (like the mix you can get at soda fountains or the Lipton powdered stuff) as 'sweet tea', especially if you are in a southern state. Sorry, but that's just blasphemy.

I pronounce pecan as puh-cahn and not pee-can. The phonetic spellings should clue you in to part of the reason why.

I pronounce "Louisana" as Lou-si-ana and not Louise-e-ana. Dad grew up there, that's how he says it, and it's good enough for me. So there.

I haven't the slightest idea what plants are best suited for what season or what amount of sunlight. Nor do I garden. That's what landscapers and the produce section are for. The fact that I can keep a plant alive for more than a week is good enough for me. And since we move every 3 years or so, why make all the effort for the neighbors cat to crap on? It's disheartening.

I rarely use an umbrella for anything.

I go out all the time without 'my face on'.

I prefer mulch to pine needles. There's a story behind that - it involves fighting with my brother and step-sister (while in Louisiana, coincidentally) and having to rake up a yard full as punishment.

I really don't say yes ma'am and yes sir like I should.

I can't eat a pork rind now that I know what they are. If you don't, look it up.

I've never cooked anything with a ham hock or fatback. Eaten stuff cooked with it, you bet! But never cooked with it myself.

Okay, that's my short list. Feel free to comment or add your own preferences that make you feel out of sync.