Yesterday was Easter. Love the holiday, not so fond of the abundance of candy every. where. I. look. And just to make it harder on myself, I ended up buying way more candy than necessary for the kids.
BREAKING NEWS:
Mom took the kids outside in the backyard to play so I could have a few minutes of peace and quiet. I am chuckling as I type this because in almost three weeks, she should know better. So I'm sitting here thinking about what I should write about and all kinds of screaming starts up outside. Here's the sad part. While I care about what could possibly be going on out there, my kids have jaded me tremendously about running when they scream. When they are suddenly quiet, I totally panic. When they are screaming at each other (or just in general) like little savages...meh. I'm quite sure our neighbors have a very different opinion about this. But you know what? Meh on that too.
BACK TO MY SCREAMINGLY INTERRUPTED POST NOW
(Not trying to yell about it, just trying for continuity)
The kids have gotten quite the haul of candy this year. And fortunately -- and I have NO idea how this happened -- they are moderate candy eaters. S will unwrap a piece of candy, take a little nibble, and then be done with it. T will actually ask us how much he can have, and then abide by what R and I say. That was SO not me as a kid. If my holiday haul lasted a week, I was doing fabulous. One year, Mom gave me a bag of peanut M&M's and I refused to open it for a really long time. (That was over a month, btw) In the wee hours of the morning I heard a strange sound and discovered that a mouse had somehow managed to crawl up my bookcase, into my metal bucket that usually holds change but was now holding my Christmas M&M's which were being consumed by a mouse. And that, folks, ended my trying to hang on to candy. Okay, I'm actually joking about that because now I just put it in the freezer. Last year, we made a big bag of M&M's last about six months, which has got to be a new record.
I loooooove candy. Love it! Well, most of it anyway. I don't like chocolate and mint together and I don't like coffee flavored anything. Or licorice. Other than that, I know no enemies in candy land. Actually, I guess that's not true. Candy is likely very much my enemy. Maybe not candy exactly, but my inability to eat a proper serving of it. And I'm proud to report that while I did have some candy, I didn't overeat it for once - possibly for the first time in my life. I wanted a bite of a couple different things, I ate 'em, and that was that. I wasn't sneaking around pinching candy from the kids' baskets and I wasn't lying awake in bed at night longing to go down and eat it. Now that, in my book, is total progress. Dare I even think of it as a victory?!? I even drove by a McDonalds without having to fight the urge for a cheeseburger and ice cream cone. And it. felt. great!
I'm starting to see my issues with food more clearly bit by bit and I am hoping that by re-training myself to do something else when I'm sad/stressed/upset/angry/emotional that I can continue to deal with my emotions rather than eat them away. It's always going to be somewhat of a struggle, I know that. But I have very high confidence that I'm not controlling food instead of food controlling me. Even when my triggers are pulled and my buttons pushed. Take that, McCheeseburger!
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