Diet Diary Day - entry 5

Oh how I wish I had a big reset button, because I would totally push it right now. Instead, I've started the detox portion of the Fat Smash Diet again. It became apparent to me last week that this was going to be necessary because I was eating way too much, and it wasn't celery and carrot sticks. After so long of doing really, really well, I didn't fall off the wagon, I dove, possibly even bungee jumped. So it's back to the start for me to detox and reset.

Yay.

Last night I was watching Drop Dead Diva and I gotta tell you, I loved this show. I've read plenty of articles or blogs that dealt with overweight/obese people and I love the comments that always come up that fat people need to put down the cookies/ice cream/soda/fast food/fried chicken/insert food name here and start exercising. It would be great if it were that easy - if putting down a fork, pushing yourself away from the table and going for a walk would melt off the pounds and magically transform your life. But the reality is that losing weight is a long-term, uphill, enormously difficult battle. And rarely, rarely is it about the food.

Look, I can't speak for anyone but myself here. I also realize that my weight issues are all on me. It would be easy to say that I'm overweight because of _________, and then not change a thing. But it's more complex than that and I'm willing to wager that other people feel the same. No matter the reason a person is overweight, one thing is fundamentally true - you have to eat less and move more to reduce your weight. There's no miracle pill, no wave of a magic wand, no surgical procedure that will fix a weight problem overnight. For someone like me, the cause behind the over eating must be discovered and dealt with. I would imagine it's almost always going to be a difficult and painful process, but isn't killing yourself slowly with food difficult and painful as well?

Do I know what's behind my weight issue? I'm pretty sure I do. Yep, yep. yep. But as honest and bare as I want to be on this blog, I can't talk about it yet. Maybe once I've figured out how to really and finally deal with it and move on I can address it publicly. I hope so.

I think that's one of the reasons I like Drop Dead Diva so much. It's a humorous but poignant look at a serious and widespread problem. There is no guarantee that putting down the doughnut and going for a run is going to solve all your problems. It will likely solve the weight portion (pardon the pun) or at least improve it. The initial issue behind the overeating still has to be resolved. And that's the hard part. You work so hard to bury it underneath the food and sense of humor or whatever coping mechanism that unearthing it almost feels like starting from scratch - kind of like this week and restarting the Fat Smash detox. I'm once again starting from scratch.

(deep breath)

Thanks for reading.