I went to the cardiologist on Monday and he said words to me that made me want to do a back flip.
While I admit this puts a serious kink in the mini triathlon plans, I am mostly just completely relieved. I'm mostly relived because I've been validated. I was not meant to be a runner. I have been fighting my inability to run for years. It made me feel....less...somehow. Like I wasn't really trying hard enough. Like a wimpy, lazy quitter.
Running comes so easily to so many people. I envy them that.
In the months leading up to my first wedding, I decided I was going to jog until I could jog a mile. It took me four months to be able to jog a mile in 15 minutes.Which is pretty slow even by jogging standards. And I jogged almost every day. Every single second of it was torture. My legs never hurt, my feet didn't hurt...it was always my lungs that felt like they were going to burst. Or spontaneously combust.
Turns out that the heart valve that is the cause of my murmur owns that responsibility. I'm just not meant to be a runner, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much freedom I feel from that statement. So for the running part of the mini triathlon, I will be speed walking. I'm totally okay with that. And I'll probably be faster than if I did trog.
I started two medications on Tuesday. One is to manage my blood pressure, the other is to manage my heart beat. (It beats too fast). I don't want to be on meds. The thought of being pill dependant does not appeal to me. But the thought of dying early appeals to me even less.
So today, I hopped on the elliptical to warm up for my workout. I have to take it easy (going slower, lifting lighter) until my body gets used the the medications, so I didn't go very fast today. It also kinda felt like I was trying to ellpti-cise through applesauce or mud. To my huge surprise, when I checked my heart rate it was barely in the cardio zone. Sa-weet! Once I get used to the medication, I can start to amp it up again and actually be training and improving my heart rate and health. With my rapid heart rate issue, all that work I've been doing was basically doing...nothing.
But things are looking up. Definitely!