Monday, April 18, 2011

And this is how you make an ass of yourself in a convenience store

I'm sure I may have mentioned a time or thirty that feeling like I'm not being listened to makes me crazy. Like, Gary Busey sputtering nonsense crazy.

Last Saturday, we stopped to get gas after swimming at the Y. The kids and I went into the store to get drinks. R wanted hot chocolate, I wanted a cup of ice, the kids wanted smoothies.

My first mistake was not getting the kids' drinks poured first.

I went to get R's hot chocolate, and when I looked around, T had filled a 32 ounce cup with smoothie.

As if!

I said T's name in an exasperated way, then had to grab a cup from S who figured she could do the same thing.

Right about that time, R walks up.

I hand him his cup, and explain why I sounded so....umm...pissy.

R, thinking I'm mad, goes from 0 to pissy in about .0002 seconds.

Okay, okay - let's not make a scene.

So I propose this solution - just grab an extra cup, then when we leave we can pour some of  T's drink into the empty cup for S.

Seems logical, no?

My reasoning for this? No way did T need 32 ounces of a heavily sugared drink. No freaking way. By paying for the smoothie T already poured ($2.49) and then buying a smaller cup to pour part of it into ($ .25), we'd save almost $2. 

And naturally, my solution was the most logical, right? Right?!?

R nods and umm-humms me through my explanation, grabs a smaller cup, then pours half of T's drink into the empty cup.

O.M.G. Are you kidding me? Did you not hear anything I just said? And if not, why was I um-hummed?

Um-humming is dangerous around me on the third Saturday of the month.

Cue spinning head, smoke coming out of ears, and quite the nasty little tone.

I do believe I spit out a "REALLY?!? in his general direction. And then I followed it up with a lovely snarky "Yes, by ALL MEANS, let's pay for two over priced sugar waters!"

And I'm fairly positive some overly dramatic arm movements were involved.

I think I scared the poor clerk so much that he only charged us for one smoothie.


I really need to start doing yoga again. Immediately.

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