Mouse Destroyer

Not the furry kind of mice, though. For any four legged mice I may encounter -- and by encounter I mean see signs of their existence in black poo form -- I put out a nice tray of mice remover pellets and then push that I'm basically spreading poison around into the back of my mind. I mean, I have two kids under 6. I'm totally on a first name basis with torture these days. So it's not like those mice are alone in this, you know? Besides, I bear no ill will towards any mouse that chooses to live outside my house. Only the ones that venture over the threshold meet an ill timed demise.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah...mice.

It's official. I'm a computer mouse killer. Not so much the mouse itself as the USB stick. In the last three years I think I've gone through six or more. After mouse number three died, the hub o licious started bringing home the cheap ones.

How do I manage to do so much damage, you wonder?

Since we have laptops, I'm forever sitting on the couch to check email or Facebook or blog. Between having to put the laptop down in a hurry to prevent sibling-i-cide or maiming, having S crawl all up all over me all the freakin' time, my USB stick simply takes a beating. Having it fall off the arm of the couch or slide off the table or slide off my lap when I fall asleep sitting up doesn't help either. Not that that's ever happened. Ahem.

So this last mouse USB died when the laptop kinda just sorta landed USB stick side down somehow. ahem. R just walked over to it, looked at the stick, looked at me, shook his head, and tried to fix it. I managed to...umm...completely knock the hard plastic cover off of the electronics inside. Sigh.

A few nights later I'm mentioning how the mouse really isn't working and R is all, "go get a new one' and I'm all "why? I'll just murder it too" and R's all "they make really tiny USB sticks now" and I'm all "well even tiny USB sticks can't survive my abuse and anyway, the ones with the tiny USB sticks are too expensive"

Fast foward two days and my mouse is officially dead unless the USB stick is in specific position and isn't jostled. Which means, of course, that my mouse is dead. I run into Walmart just to check out the mouse selection and by golly. There is a $24 dollar mouse with a USB stick so tiny that even dropping my computer USB stick side down on purpose probably wouldn't hurt it. Not that I'd ever test that theory or anything.

I hate it when R is right and I don't listen.

I buy it, of course, since that's less than what I was paying for the mouse with the giant USB stick and so far the mouse, USB stick, and I are living happily ever after. Then again, it hasn't even been a week yet.