Thursday, January 26, 2012

Taking a sick day

As a stay at home mom, you don't really get sick days.

It kinda sucks.

When Robert is home, I know I can go and lie down if I'm not feeling well (or, say, just need to escape.)

But guess what? Robert isn't here right now.

Guess it's a good thing that I'm not the sick one...yet.

Yesterday and last night everything was fine. This morning, Sara came into our bedroom asking for a drink of water. Not long after that was what I call the cough of spewing.

Robert has horrible acid reflux. So does his dad, so does his mom. So it wouldn't be unheard of if one of our kids ends up with acid reflux too.

Meet Sara, resident diva and often astounding drama queen.

We've never had her diagnosed because taking Sara to the doctor goes something like this:

S: I don't feeeeeel good.
Parent: What's wrong?
S: I don't know.
Parent: Hmm. When you know let me know and we'll try to figure it out.
S: I don't feeeeeeeeel good!!!
Parent: What hurts?
S: My stomach.
Parent: How does your stomach hurt?
S: I don't know.
Parent: Sharp pain? Cramp? Achy?
Parent: Want a tums?
S: Yes.
Parent (after a couple minutes): Are you feeling better?
S: No, but can I have a cookie?
Parent: Um, no.
S: I don't feel good. :: whining, crying, flinging herself about in hysterics::
Parent: Okay, I'll make an appointment with the doctor to see if we can figure this out.

four to sixteen days later:

Dr: So what's the problem?
Parent: She keeps complaining that her stomach hurts.
Dr: Does she have a virus?
Parent: No.
Dr: blood in her stool?
Parent: Not that I've seen.
Dr: What does she eat?
Parent: For breakfast usually cereal, yogurt, or fruit. For lunch, usually a PB&J, chips or carrots, and dinner she'll eat a chicken, mac and cheese, pasta, veggies, fruits..she eats pretty well. She doesn't like meat very much or anything spicy. She normally drinks milk, water, or kool-aid.
Dr:  ::poking on her stomach:: well, I think she's okay.

So helpful.

These days, she'll ask for a Tums if her stomach is bothering her. So when she came in this morning and asked for water and then started coughing after she swallowed, I knew what was coming.

Me: Sara, does your tummy hurt?
S: NO! (this means yes, btw)
Me: Okay, let's go into the bathroom, okay?
S: NO! I DON'T NEED TO! ::shrieking::
Me: Well, I need to go to the bathroom.

as I'm sitting on the toilet, she walks to the door of the bathroom with her hand on her throat, swallowing rapidly.

Me: Sara if you need to throw up, please at least throw up in here so I don't have to clean the carpet or the mattress.
S: I DON'T!!! ::banshee type screaming.   pause.    gurgling.   more swallowing:: I DON........

photo from Genius!!
Cue vomit.                        

I knew it. I had the trashcan at the ready, so with my super mom ninja skills I slid it under her as she doubled over to vomit all over my bathroom. Most of it even went in there. Score!

Guess I know what I'm going to be doing today.

Having a sick day. With any luck it will just be today and Tucker and I will escape the toilet and trash can tour.

The question is....::in my best albeit pathetic Clint Eastwood voice:: do I feel lucky, punk?

No comments: