A clean start

Yesterday I spent about 45 minutes in an online chat with our cable provider, trying to figure out a way to wrangle some premium channels without increasing the cost of our bill.

I'll spare you the details and just spill it - the rep and I finally had a meeting of services=budget.

And now I can watch both True Blood and The Big C! So I was up late last night catching up on the episodes I'd missed.

Which brings me to the actual point of this post.

It was kinda hard to get up this morning.

A-hem.

But get up I did, with a minimum of grumbling about T waking me up by sneezing in my face, which would not have been my first choice of how to be roused. I got in the shower and as I was rinsing the conditioner out of my hair, I thought I heard S screaming. Not simply yelling for me, but an ear piercing, glass shattering, 'something is really, really wrong' scream.

I got out of the shower. Silence. I asked T if S was screaming.

Yes, yes, she was.

Did he go and check on her?

No, no he didn't.

Now in his defense, S is prone to screaming fits since birth lately. But if she was screaming like I think she was screaming, I'm surprised that he didn't check on her.

Moving on.

S was in the bathroom. I walked in and asked her if she was okay since she was sitting there with her hands up in the air like she was participating in a Survivor challenge.

She immediately starts to cry. "Mommmmmmmy, I can't rub it in."

I don't even have my glasses on, and I gotta be honest, I'm afraid to look at what isn't rubbing in. With S, you never know.

"Honey, I don't have my glasses on, what can't you rub in?"

"Dis." and she thrusts her hands in my general direction.

Um. I cannot even begin to tell you how completely certain I was that my nose and eyes were going to get nowhere near her hands -- especially without glasses on.

"What is it? I can't see...hang on. I'll be right back." I fetch my glasses and head back in to the battlefield bathroom.

Now that I can see, I realize she's grabbed a bottle of shower gel thinking it was lotion and has smeared it on every available skin surface.

Me: (mentally) Thank God! Also: Bwaaaaahahahahahahahaaahaahaaahaaahaa!

Me: (out loud to S) Honey, that's soap, not lotion. Finish going potty and we'll put you in the tub and rinse you off.

S: (mournfully) I am done going potty. I can't get off! ::fresh tears::

Me: Not a problem!

I help her off the potty and into the tub where we get all the soap rinsed off after about 10 minutes of trying.

On the bright side, she smelled lovely today.