deal with a temper tantrum by our resident diva. (This may or may not work on any other kid...but probably not)
1) Let her get it out of her system. Prepare yourself, this will probably take a while. And by a while, I mean a long, long, long time. Or it could just feel that way. Depends on the day. And the tantrum cause. The trick is to maintain eye contact unless she's in a "don't LOOK at me" mood and then, for heaven's sake DON'T look at her. The only time you should ever interrupt or comment is when she is obviously waiting for you to do so. Keep it non-committal and simple. "I see" or "I hear you" or "no wonder"
2) Understand that no logic, no matter how brilliant, is going to help. Especially pointing out the obvious. Especially when pointing out the obvious obviously has something to do with the situation being caused by her actions.
3) On the other hand, disrespect is never okay. Tantrums are all about attention - at least in this house. Being tired, hungry, or not feeling well never helps, but with the diva, it really is based on wanting attention. But it is never okay to be disrespectful or mean and if she takes that turn, well...someone is going to solitary confinement (aka her room). And if she fights it, she keeps doubling the time.
4) Offer a hug, but don't insist. Sometimes, if you catch it just right, you can avoid the escalation all together. Appreciate those moments. Also appreciate that your diva can still be comforted by a hug. Those days are about to disappear for about a decade or so.
5) Make her laugh or distract her. This can be really tricky. Sometimes whatever the issue is can be laughed off but other times it can't. Frankly, it's still a guessing game even after 6 years but when you see the corner of her mouth quirk upward against her will, break out your best material and go for it.
And don't forget to look at the bright side - you are getting tons of experience for the teenage years.