Night and Day?

Yesterday, R had been home about an hour when I realized that he didn't have to work today. The kids are going to be in camp all day - this means parental freedom, people. Make some NOISE!

We dropped off the kids and went to workout. We decided to go and see an early movie. Oooohhhh. Decisions, decisions. I didn't feel it was fair to make him pay to see Eclipse since he couldn't make it through the dvd of Twilight or New Moon. And, every time we see Twilight themed merchandise he's all, "Hey Brooke...looooook at this! It's got that wolf boy on it!"

Sigh. Yes, I'm totally Team Jacob, but I draw the line at openly ogling him (it just seems so very wrong since he's just a kid) and I will not be buying a t-shirt, conversation hearts, ball cap, tote bag, poster, magazine, comic book, pen, action figure, or anything else other than the actual movie ticket and dvd.

Since R has already seen the A Team movie, the only other thing we were both interested in seeing was Knight and Day. I know, I know. I'm not a Tom Cruise fan but I like Cameron Diaz more than I dislike Tom Cruise. Plus, Tom Cruise does play a really good crazy. Personal judgements are reserved. :cackling:

So it's about an hour and a half before the movie stars and R comes up to me and says something to the effect of "Do you want to take a shower first?"

Umm. No. I have Zumba this afternoon, so why would I shower, only to sweat profusely, and then have to shower again. Plus, this morning I mainly did weight training, so it wasn't like I was walking around with my stink on.

When I tell him to go ahead and shower first, R looks....disappointed.

I jump to the obvious conclusion - he thinks I need to take a shower. DO I smell? Do I look horrible? What am I missing? I gross out my husband? OMG! I gross out my husband!

Wait a minute. This is the guy what is capable of walking around in obviously dirty clothes and not noticing it. How bad is it that he thinks I need to take a shower before the movie?!!??!!! How bad is it that the man who can not smell well thinks I need to shower. Oh, I am mortified. How long have I been walking around all nasty and stinky. Wait - don't answer that!

Of course I get all defensive and snarky. I'm so freaked out that I think I gross him out that I think the conversation went like this...

Me: What!

R: What?

Me: You think I need to take a shower?

R: I asked if you wanted to take a shower.

Me: Well, I don't. What? I don't look good enough to go to a movie with you?

R: I didn't say that. Why don't you want to?

Me: Because I'm going to Zumba this afternoon and I didn't get all sweaty this morning. Why take a shower to go workout and get all sweaty and have to take another shower? Why?

R: Oh.

Me: What, do I smell? Do I offend you?

R: No, I didn't say that.

Me: Well it's what you meant, isn't it?

R: No, it's not what I meant.

Me: Then why would you make this big deal about my taking a shower then, huh?

R: I thought we could take a shower together.

Oh. Well, that's now extremely unlikely.

Me: Well why didn't you just SAY that?

R: Huh?

Me: Why didn't you say, hey - wanna go take a shower with me?

R: I thought I did.

Me: No you were all about me going to take a shower. Nothing was said until now about us going to take a shower.

R: Do you want to go take a shower with me?

Me: Not now!

R: (sigh) I love you.

Me: You think I stink. (sniff)

R: I don't think you stink.

Me: (sits silently, obviously not completely convinced)

R: I DON'T!

Me: Fine.

Later I rib him about it in hopes of getting a laugh. It's really, really hard to make R laugh, so when I do? It's like I won the lottery. He starts to get all irritated with me because he thinks I'm seriously still upset (which, if he did think I was all gross and stinky would probably be true). When I explain that I'm kidding, no really I'm kidding. REALLY. He gets into the spirit of things and makes a couple cracks about me being smelly during the rest of the day.

That's my sweetpiesugarlumpbabykins.

And no, I would never call him that.

But the movie Knight and Day? It was better than we expected. And just for public record? I shower regularly and SO do not smell.