Easy Peasy Saturday

Today I planned to take the kids somewhere fun and get them out of the house. R needed to finish up some school work and even if I've got the kids occupied with something, it's not the same thing as actual peace and quiet. Since he did that for me regularly while I was working on my Masters', I owe him quite a few Saturdays minus the munchkins.

I had my plan all laid out in my head - gym in the morning, shower, and head off to one of the kid friendly museums in St. Louis. After they were in camp all week long, I wanted to keep them out of the heat and humidity during the heat of the day. And yes, I wanted to keep myself out of the heat and humidity too.

There was only one issue with that. T was not interested in leaving the house today at. all. He refused to go to the gym this morning. He refused the museum ideas, and even though we then decided we'd go see an afternoon movie, he pitched the mother of all fits when we tried to get out the door.

Now.

I'm all for expressing yourself. I understand that a five year old may, in fact, feel like they never have a say in what happens. I understand that staying home with the known (aka Super Mario Brothers) is much more comforting than not, even when there is popcorn and animation involved. What is NOT okay is thinking that in order to not do something, all you need to do is pitch a fit. Not. Okay. At. All. The only reason I didn't drag said five year old to the gym this morning is because he stopped mid fit when I warned him and then explained why he didn't want to go. But two hours of game time later, he was done for the day, whether he liked it or not. And, even though he is the more easily entertained of the two kids, R needed some time minus kids to work on school stuff. So we were leaving the house, one way or the other.

Unfortunately, the other way we left the house involved us (and when I say us, I really mean R) physically picking up T and putting him forcibly in the car. It was loud and ugly. Lots of screaming and flailing about. But I also know, given T's history, if we don't demonstrate that we and not he are the authority figures, he will be positively unmanageable later on. And honestly? It's hard enough now. Sigh.

I knew anything public was out at least for a while, so my plan was just to drive. When Mom was here in March, we had planned to visit Prairie du Rocher, which is a small town beside the Mississippi River south of us. We never made it, and I thought even if I just drove there and back today, it would take about two hours and I was sure I could find something for us to do on the way there, while we were there, or on the way back. Even when T is verging on uncontrollable, he will eventually calm down if you just let him get it out of his system. It's the getting it out of his system that's tricky. To my surprise, given the level of upset he reached, he didn't strike out at anyone (that is totally progress) and did very little striking out at things. Now, the screaming? Boy howdy...that was just insane today.

He did, eventually, calm down. We got to Prairie du Rocher and visited an old French Fort - Fort de Chartes. I was surprised that the kids actually wanted to get out of the car and walk around, but we did. We went in all the buildings, climbed up the stairs to the lookout towers, toured the museum. Believe it or not, the kids got hot and tired before I did. By the time we walked back to the car, we were all drenched in sweat. So I cranked up the a/c and we headed for home.

We took the back roads. It reminded me somewhat of being in Germany again. The kids were quiet and still in the back of the car trying to cool off and I was lost in thought about how so many places on this earth look so similar and yet feel so different.

About 15 minutes away from home, T piped up and said, "Mom? I want to tell Dad I'm sorry for the way I behaved today."

I told him I thought that was a great idea. The next thing out of his mouth? Was that he wanted to play the game and would that be okay?

Well, no. Not at all. So we have the 'it's good to apologize when you've done something wrong but the consequences still stick' talk. I was expecting another meltdown over that, but T accepted it without incident.

When we got home, T apologized to R and said, "I want to play the game, Daddy, but I have to except the consecration of my acts." R was confused.

I turned my head to hide my smile and then said that T meant "accept the consequences of my actions". R was touched, but unaware that this is a concept T and I have been struggling with for a while now.

Better late than never. That's my boy.