We are having the most beautiful weather right now. It's been sunny and relatively warm for Germany this time of year. So I was surprised that I've been having to drag T out of the house to 'enjoy' it. Once he's outside he's fine. I guess it's just the ritual of socks, shoes, coat, etc that he hates. And I must confess - if we aren't going to be outside very long, I'm the worst about letting the kids grab a light jacket. The car gets warm so fast that I don't really see the need for super bundling when all the buildings are only a few degrees cooler inside than Hades. I also realize that I'm asking fate for a nice kick in the tushie by doing this. Just in case we are ever stranded, I have blankets, water, diapers, etc in the car. Knock on wood, I really hope it doesn't happen given our penchant here for not being able to get help and the fact that German roads have no shoulder, so if the kids and I had to hoof it somewhere, we'd be in a very dangerous position.
Yesterday, after dragging the kids outside for a couple of hours, we had lunch and I put them down for a late nap. I was tired too - T's favorite game consists of rolling the ball down the hill, and guess who gets to chase it down? That's right - me. I need the exercise, so it's all good. At any rate, buy the time I got them fed, cleaned up, diapers changed and all, I was ready for a nap too. I was thinking I'd lie down for about an hour and then get them up so that they'd still go to bed on time. Well, umm... I woke up at 5:15 and the kids were still asleep, too. Shucks. And Kellie had called and left a message that she and her kids were going to the BX and to grab a quick dinner at the food court and hopefully we could meet them there between 5:15-5:30. Whoops - better get moving then! I get T ready, change S's diaper and grab some food for her and off we go to meet Kellie. Until we get down to the car and the stupid battery is dead. Now, this happened New Years Eve, if I remember correctly (which is questionable). Then it was because the the light over T's seat had been switched on and I had forgotten to check for such things before the kids and I hoofed it upstairs. OF COURSE none of our neighbors saw fit to mention this to us and of course our battery died. (I'm trying to let go of the disgust/anger/extreme dislike but it's proving to be stubborn - perhaps because of the continuing crappy behavior they exhibit. I've even prayed about it. GOOD ME: ...and please help me to not be so petty and to forgive and forget how crappy my neighbors are on pretty much a daily basis. EVIL ME:...and please show me the perfect opportunity to lean the bags of trash they leave outside their door juuuuuust right so that when they open the door it falls back into the apartment and hopefully ruins their favorite pair of shoes. GOOD ME: Shame, shame!! You are being petty and quite passive aggressive. EVIL ME: Look - I'm doing the best I can here. I totally resisted temptation on water delivery day to add the zero to their "please leave 1 bottle of water" note. That took restraint. GOOD ME: (clucking my tongue) Terrible example to set for your kids, dontcha think? EVIL ME: (sighing) Yes.. but aren't they young enough that they wouldn't remember? GOOD ME: Umm... is that the point? EVIL ME: no)
Anyway, being that I used to be a single gal with a car battery that occasionally died, I actually have a pair of jumper cables. So I pull them out, read the instructions and then run up and ask R to come oversee the process. Something about how that whole 'if not done properly, your battery could explode" is printed in big, bold letters makes me really uncomfortable. So R comes down, we hook up the cables, the car starts and life is good. I remember thinking - I need to remember this so if it happens when he's gone, I can handle the situation.
Fast forward to today. Dead battery. PHHBBTTTTT. So, I get out the jumper cables and try really hard to remember what it was that I was so determined to remember the last time this happened. No clue. I bravely move R's car over beside mine, hook up the cables and....nothing. Hmmmm. So either 1) it's not the battery or 2) I've done it wrong. All evidence points to #2. I get out the car manual. According to Honda, since the starter sounds normal, it's got to be the battery. It's not a fuse because there is some power (and if I'm wrong about that, please let me be ignorant for a little while longer). Now, the instructions say to hook up the cables in this order - PAY ATTENTION CHICAS!! This may come in handy one day -
Red cable to the red connector on stalled car
Other red cable to the red connector on non stalled car
Black cable to the black connector on non stalled car
Other black cable to the engine block on stalled car (Lemme channel Chandler Bing.. could we BE any more vague?!!?)
The engine block is what threw me. While I didn't actually think there was a block somewhere that said "ENGINE" on it (Stop laughing, Dad!), in my girl speak, Engine block means random metal thingy that I could connect the connector to. I refuse to incriminate myself by saying what I connected it to the first time. And by the way - the battery did not explode.
So, back to the drawing board. I've got two kids in the car, S is screaming her head off, which makes T all jittery, it's getting dark, no fewer than 7 men have seen me with the hoods raised, cables in hand, looking confused (including crappy neighbors - two of whom walk right by me and the other who observes from her perch of perpetual spying but no assistance offering aka the balcony. Truly, it would bring me joy for a pigeon to poop right on her head - bless her heart.)
I run upstairs to get the flashlight and try to find our ADAC info - which is the German equivalent of AAA. And it hits me - Kellie is at the BX, I'll call her and see if I have better luck trying to jump my car off her car. She says she'll come right down as soon as she gets done. I also remember that I could call Sam, who used to be in Security Forces, so she may know what I'm doing wrong or know someone who does. So, I have options. Options make me much calmer. Reinforced that I'm not alone in this, I go back downstairs, put S back in her car seat and hand T a snack to share between the two of them. And, excellent child that he always is in a crisis, he does it. Now that the kids are settling down, I'm standing in front of the cars again thinking - what did I do wrong?!!? To my surprise and shock, the couple that just moved in beside us shows up and offers to help. I explain that it's the whole engine block theory that's throwing me and Mr. new neighbor says that every time they've jumped a car it's been red to red/black to black between the two cars. OY! So, I try it, it works (stop laughing, Dad!) and I thank them profusely as Kellie drives up. Crisis over. And yes, I feel a little stupid. But I betcha the next time I have to jump a car, I can do it without reading the instructions. Whether I read this blog entry or not first is another matter entirely.
And, okay, okay!!!!!! I get the message, God. Two helpful people in the last week - all is not lost and basic human kindness still exists...just not with the crappy folks in apt. 2.
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