Breathe - just breathe

Holy moly, it's already Friday.

Today after S and I dropped T off at school, we did errands. We went to the post office and checked our mail (a movie from Blockbuster - sweeeet!), wasted enough time until the commercial areas of the base were open (meaning the Commissary and the BX) and then bought envelopes to send out some Thomas the Tank Engine and Tinkerbell valentines from the kids. Then, of course, we went back to the post office (the one on the base where we live since it's much less crowded and so much more efficient), mailed a bunch of stuff, went to the commissary, and finished just in time to pick T up from school.

And to my complete and utter amazement - I realized we were having a great day. A GREAT day! There was no pushing, no shoving, no hitting, no fighting over toys - easy diaper changes (and lemme just weigh in on that - easy diaper changes are the most underrated things on the planet. Of course, I may feel that way because the antibiotic S was taking gave her massive diarrhea and I sanitized the floor for almost two weeks straight because it got everywhere).

The kids napped well, we met some friends for dinner (IN PUBLIC) and for the first time in months, I didn't have to put T in a time out or pull him outside or wish that the floor would open and swallow me whole. For the first time in a year, T was the most well behaved child in the building, and my pride over that is so overwhelming that I still am unsure how to describe it. For the first time since R left, I really feel like things are going to be okay.

In the car today, I heard S start to cackle and I glanced at her to see how and what she was doing. She had pulled off her socks and was chewing on her toes. Apparently this tickled her because she'd chew and laugh, chew and laugh. She also managed to take off her jacket today, and I have no idea how she did it since I didn't see it happen. She's crafty, that one.

So after I picked up T, I had to decide how to get me, S, and the groceries upstairs in one trip. There's no real reason for that other than I just didn't want to make two trips to our third floor apartment. Now, in the last couple weeks something has changed because trying to put S on my hip and carry, well - anything else, really is becoming a problem. In no time, she's sliding down or pitching forward, and her new thing is to use me as her springboard and attempt to hurl herself backward. I guess I should be flattered because that obviously means she has complete faith and trust in me to catch her, but let's face it - there is a really, really good reason my middle name ain't Grace.

So, as I'm trying to figure out the logistics of carrying an infant and assorted crap upstairs, the folks in the first floor apartment are opening their shades. I know they see us because their son, who's a year older than T, knocks on the window and shouts, "HI T!!!!!!! HI!!!!!!" Those of you who know me realize that I'm generally independent. I don't expect R to..say..get up and hand me the remote unless my legs are broken or something equally serious. But it would be nice if just once -ONCE - someone in this stairwell upon seeing I needed help - offered to perhaps open the door for me or even ask "you okay? need any help?" Chances are I'll say no unless I really and truly can't make it. Of course that's not what happened today. Today, in what is becoming the grand tradition of crappy stairwell inhabitants, they just stood there and watched as I struggled not to drop my daughter on her head on the concrete. Niiiiiiiiiiice going, crappy neighbors. And little stuff like that brings out the worst in my personality anyway and I find myself muttering (which is actually a pet peeve of mine) about crappy, paper-stealing, non helping, sorry-assed people who expect the world to literally revolve around them and would rather roast a marshmallow if you were on fire rather than call 911, or as it would be here 117. Or is it 112? Given our past month, I really need to figure that one out.

I know it's very unchristian to hate and that really, hate is wasted energy I could be putting towards things that are way more important than the ill-bred miscreants that inhabit this building. And yet, for a brief moment today, I allowed myself to fully sink into quite the snit of anger and wish that someday, when they are in need, they are treated by others the way they constantly treat others. CRAPPY. So nah nah nah boo boo and phbbtttttttt.