Monday, April 14, 2014

I am the worst selfie taker ever...and here's the proof!

I'm not much of a 'selfie' taker. A lot of the reason is that I'd much rather be behind the camera than in front of it. Another huge contributing factor is that I'm a HORRIBLE selfie taker. 

Take today for instance...I got my hair cut and colored over the weekend. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. Because I love it, I wanted to take a picture that did it justice. It took me 10 attempts. I was talking to Megan during the process, and over the course of the conversation, I decided my lame attempts at selfie taking would make a hilarious blog post. (Well, hilarious to me anyway...)

So here we go.. picture #1 :
umm, yeah. Posture matters. Plus, you really can't tell how much shorter my hair is than it was three days ago. And, obviously I didn't mean to take the picture yet (phone at my ear and facial expression are proof). But on the plus know what my resting bitch face looks like now. 
Conclusion: FAIL
Picture #2:

nope, I'm not even in this picture. I apparently hit the photo button without even realizing it. (sigh)
Conclusion: FAIL
Picture #3:

Well, at least the scenery is better. And you can tell my hair is definitely short. And for some reason, it looks like it's been photo shopped because the roof line doesn't look straight to me. I can't tell if that's because I got the window treatment in the picture, or if it's an issue with my phone's camera, or maybe the roof is saggy. Who knows? 
Conclusion: FAIL
Picture #4

Well, that's better. You can see that my hair is short and that it's red, but it's blurry and the neckline of my shirt makes me look like I'm missing a shoulder or something. But at least they pictures are getting better, right? RIGHT?!?!
Conclusion: FAIL
Picture #5

I have stairs! I'm sure you were all very interested in that fact. You're welcome!
Conclusion: FAIL
Picture #6

In my frustration at the first five failed attempts, I shoved my hair back (apparently) and then forgot to fix it. Plus, I'm feeling like this is a mug shot, not a hey, I love my new hair shot.
Conclusion: FAIL
 Picture #7

Oh, look, I 'fixed' my bangs. If by fixed you mean borrowed a really bad toupee from someone and plopped it on my head without the benefit of a mirror. And the picture is still blurry. And the lighting still sucks. 
Conclusion: FAIL
 Picture #8
Well, this is better. Okay, I can work with this one. Even though my eyes look crossed a bit and the hair around my ear looks....odd. Really odd.
Conclusion: It'll do.
Picture #9 Girl,
Conclusion: FAIL
Picture #10

Other than the really strange hair around my ear (which I thought I had fixed), this is a pretty decent picture of me. But I like the other one better, so that's the one I used. 
Conclusion: meh.

So there you have it. 10 pictures, 8 of me, most of them reasonably similar. Perhaps I would get better at this if I did it more often, but honestly? I don't have the inclination or the patience. 

Any tips or strategies would be greatly appreciated (except to buy a better phone because I know that, but it's not going to happen for a nice, long, while).

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