Family drama, but not what you're thinking

Tucker joined a drama group at school. Last Friday and Saturday nights, they performed their play, Once Upon a Lily Pad. Tucker was on the art/ticket committee, and here's the poster he drew:

He also, for some reason, wore pants that were two sizes too big so he kept having to pull them up. Eventually he got tired of that and shoved about two yards' worth of shirt tail in to try and fill in the gap. It didn't work too well.

It did, however, give him the closest thing to a potbelly he'll probably ever have.

After the play, there was a cast party in the cafeteria. Sara wasn't impressed that she wasn't celebrated in any way at either the play or the party.

I had my typical reaction to that and learned something new...apparently when I roll my eyes, they go in different directions. I need to find a way to capitalize on that talent.

And in case you're wondering, Tucker is drinking ice cream from the bowl because it melted before the kids got to the cafeteria. 

Never a dull moment. Like, ever.

David Letterman I'm not

I woke up on time this morning. I'm having a good hair day (of course washing was helpful). I got the kids ready for and to school with no major fights or meltdowns. It's a beautiful day. So why am I so dang grouchy?




Here are the top ten things that may have contributed to my grouchiness today (and by may I mean they are totally responsible)...

1) People o' the local area
2) Drivers who think red lights and stop signs really only mean 'if you feel like it'.
3) Police officers who watch the drivers in #2 and don't do a doggone thing about them.
4) Not being able to get my feet warm this morning
5) Full sinuses compliments of allergy season
6) The teacher in the drop off line who not only slammed my car door so hard it shook the car this morning, but also commented 'So?!?' to my kids telling her they were looking forward to art today.
7) Not doing anything about #6
8) Ripping my sock on the protruding nail of the doorway to our bathroom, even though I know it's there because I've ripped about 20 other socks on it before.
9) Political ads. All of you need to shut. the. hell. up.
10) Dust bunnies the size of tumbleweeds even though I've swept, mopped, vacuumed, or dusted every day this week. Where are they coming from? Do they crawl back out of the vacuum or trash can at night?

Just a little Sunday drive...

We headed to my mom's house for Easter dinner today. It's just over a two hour drive from our house to her house and I couldn't have asked for a better day to drive.

There's a huge no speeding campaign going on in our area, so it wasn't surprising that we saw a lot of State Troopers on our way down, which also meant that I paid close attention to the way I was driving and how fast I was going.

With that in mind, and also because it was a beautiful day, the kids weren't bickering in the back seat for once, we had excellent tunes playing, and it's Easter, I was in the mood to be the nicest, most considerate driver on the road. Possibly ever.

Aiming high, that's me.

About 20 minutes from Mom's, traffic was getting heavier. At one on ramp, there were cars trying to merge onto I-40. I couldn't move over into the left lane to let the car that was quickly running out of room over, so I slowed down so they could merge into traffic in front of me.

Nice, right? That's what I thought.

As soon as they moved over in front of us, the driver rolled down her window and waved at me vigorously....with her middle finger.



If I haven't mentioned it before, I *might* get a touch of road impatience myself from time to time. So before I could think much about my own actions (more specifically, who was in the car with me), I pretty much reacted  by waving back with two meaningful fingers of my own.

Because, you know, one nice gesture deserves another. Or...paying it forward. Or something.

But wait!

Not to be outdone, my two were met and raised a couple by my friendly neighborhood driver and her passenger, at which point Robert and I both 'waved' back, albeit with only one hand each.

Of course, then we both realized that we were setting a horrible example for the kids and stopped reacting, but not before I threw a couple 'Bless your heart' statements her way.

I'm guessing that she probably didn't get the chocolate bunny she wanted for Easter.  I sincerely hope the rest of her day went better.

Project Dahlhouse

My good friend Kim was getting rid of her childhood doll house. It had been in her basement for years and needed some cleaning.

It's not that Sara didn't have a doll house, but I wanted her to have one that was unique and had a special meaning for her. Hopefully she will save it for her little girl one day.

We picked it up and got it all cleaned up. Since it was close to Sara's birthday, I told her she could pick out the colors and we'd repaint it  The doll house was in really good shape, just in need of a little TLC and some updating. Plus, the germophobe in me liked the idea of freshly covering all the walls and floors.

Sara helped paint and it took some convincing to talk her out of painting the entire thing pink. But I think it turned out beautifully considering I do NOT possess actual rehab talent, the ability to cut straight, nor a steady hand for painting.

So here are the before pics (thanks to Kim)
                                                                                 

And here are the pretty much finished pictures:

I think it looks great, and even though Sara had mentioned she'd like more pink in it, she's really excited to play with it now that the paint is dry and the floors are in. 

I am the worst selfie taker ever...and here's the proof!

I'm not much of a 'selfie' taker. A lot of the reason is that I'd much rather be behind the camera than in front of it. Another huge contributing factor is that I'm a HORRIBLE selfie taker. 

Take today for instance...I got my hair cut and colored over the weekend. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. Because I love it, I wanted to take a picture that did it justice. It took me 10 attempts. I was talking to Megan during the process, and over the course of the conversation, I decided my lame attempts at selfie taking would make a hilarious blog post. (Well, hilarious to me anyway...)

So here we go.. picture #1 :

umm, yeah. Posture matters. Plus, you really can't tell how much shorter my hair is than it was three days ago. And, obviously I didn't mean to take the picture yet (phone at my ear and facial expression are proof). But on the plus side..you know what my resting bitch face looks like now. 

Conclusion: FAIL

Picture #2:

nope, I'm not even in this picture. I apparently hit the photo button without even realizing it. (sigh)

Conclusion: FAIL

Picture #3:

Well, at least the scenery is better. And you can tell my hair is definitely short. But...just...no. And for some reason, it looks like it's been photo shopped because the roof line doesn't look straight to me. I can't tell if that's because I got the window treatment in the picture, or if it's an issue with my phone's camera, or maybe the roof is saggy. Who knows? 

Conclusion: FAIL

Picture #4

Well, that's better. You can see that my hair is short and that it's red, but it's blurry and the neckline of my shirt makes me look like I'm missing a shoulder or something. But at least they pictures are getting better, right? RIGHT?!?!

Conclusion: FAIL

Picture #5

I have stairs! I'm sure you were all very interested in that fact. You're welcome!

Conclusion: FAIL

Picture #6

In my frustration at the first five failed attempts, I shoved my hair back (apparently) and then forgot to fix it. Plus, I'm feeling like this is a mug shot, not a hey, I love my new hair shot.

Conclusion: FAIL

 Picture #7

Oh, look, I 'fixed' my bangs. If by fixed you mean borrowed a really bad toupee from someone and plopped it on my head without the benefit of a mirror. And the picture is still blurry. And the lighting still sucks. 

Conclusion: FAIL

 Picture #8

Well, this is better. Okay, I can work with this one. Even though my eyes look crossed a bit and the hair around my ear looks....odd. Really odd.
Conclusion: It'll do.

Picture #9 

Just...no. Girl, just...no.

Conclusion: FAIL

Picture #10

Other than the really strange hair around my ear (which I thought I had fixed), this is a pretty decent picture of me. But I like the other one better, so that's the one I used. 

Conclusion: meh.

So there you have it. 10 pictures, 8 of me, most of them reasonably similar. Perhaps I would get better at this if I did it more often, but honestly? I don't have the inclination or the patience. 

Any tips or strategies would be greatly appreciated (except to buy a better phone because I know that, but it's not going to happen for a nice, long, while).

Confession Friday

Today I read two posts by Single Dad Laughing. One was about secrets and one was about confessions. They hit me hard. Like the "KAPOW!" on the original Batman series from the 60's.

::overanalytical brain function jumps into hyperdrive:: I. Must. Overanalyze. This. At. Once.

Do I have secrets?      Oh, you bet I do.

Would I feel better if I told them?   Maybe. 

Do I have things I need to confess?    You bet your bippy. 

Am I going to do that?        Ummm, well......I really don't know. 

Sometimes it's good to share and sometimes? Sometimes it just causes more trouble than it's worth. 

So, baby steps it is...confessions are easier so we'll do those today. 

Confession #1

I don't have a good relationship with my brother. After years of up & down, on &off, I finally just decided to stop trying to make it what I wish it was and accept it for what it is. 

Confession #2

I'm jealous of people that have good relationships with their siblings (see also confession #1). 

Confession #3

I have no patience for children with a sense of entitlement and I'm torn between wishing my kids understood how lucky they really are and being grateful that the life they are living has been stable enough that they don't really understand what I mean when I tell them they are most assuredly blessed. 

Confession #4

I roll my eyes at hashtags even though I know I'm painfully, woefully behind the times on social media. I realize I'm showing my age and un-coolness by not jumping on the hashtag bandwagon. And if I ever use them, it's a 97% certainty I'm being sarcastic.  

*disclaimer - the Jimmy Fallon/Justin Timberlake hashtag sketch make me laugh until I cried. So there's that...

Confession #5

I saw something on Facebook the other day that there is a connection between people who take tons of selfies and mental illness. I could not agree more. You know what old school selfies are? Mirrors. 

Your turn! 

The Power of Friendship

**this should have been posted March 12**

Last weekend, I got some long overdue time with a very dear friend. One of those friends that I can not see for weeks, months, possibly even years and we will pick up like we saw each other yesterday.

Within the last week, all hell had broken lose. Dad was in the hospital for a few days with an infection that for a while seemed like it might require an amputation (it didn't, thank God!). Saturday night Sara ate something that didn't agree with her and threw up in her sleep. Then Sunday night, Sara fell and we ended up taking her to the ER as a precautionary measure (always, always better safe than sorry!). She's fine, but many people waiting with us in the ER were NOT okay (welcome to Pukeville, USA) which ended up in our house with Tucker having a wicked case of stomach virus.

I cannot say it enough to my kids. Soap and water and hand sanitizer. Repeatedly.

Too bad they don't listen.

Robert was exhausted from being up most of the night three nights in a row, and then on top of severe stomach pain, apparently pulled a muscle in his side back while carrying Sara to the car and/or into the ER on Sunday.

So I'm even more grateful for my girl's time during the weekend. Because with everything that happened from Sunday forward, instead of getting all stressed, I just did what had to be done, which mainly involved lots and lots and lots and lots of laundry. And sanitizing. Lots and lots of sanitizing.

So to all you parents out there - especially you fellow Moms - I say this from the bottom of my heart: taking care of you lets you take care of yours a whole lot better.