The time really slipped away from me this week. It's already late Sunday night and I'm scratching my head wondering what happened to this week. On one hand I'm happy that time is going by so fast because the faster time goes by, the sooner R will be back. On the other hand, where did the last entire year go? SHEESH!
So many people warned me over the years that the older I got the faster time would go. In high school, the time from 3:00 until 6:00 pm seemed like all the time in the world. My friend Caitlin and I would often go catch a movie after school or go out for an early dinner. I think those might be pretty much my only fond memories of high school, which is ironic that they actually have nothing to DO with high school. But I digress....
So here I am, thirty-something with two kids and a husband which is not how I saw myself when I tried to imagine my 30's as a teenager. I was going to live in a big city where museums and fun things to do were all within walking distance. I was going to have a great job that I loved in an office with a fabulous view and I was, most importantly, going to be happy. Marriage and kids never factored into that fantasy, so it's poetic justice in many ways that I am so happy with a job that I love (although a few days off sure wouldn't hurt right about now; neither would getting paid!) and living in a place with a great view (isn't it all in how you look at it anyway?!?!?) Funny how your dreams can come true but you are so caught up in the day to day running of your life that you don't realize it until you sit and think about it.
This week was interesting to say the least. I fell getting out of the shower on Tuesday and really hurt my foot and wrist - badly enough that I actually voluntarily went to the doctor (even if it was on Thursday) and got a really snazzy brace and some sage advice to be more careful. Uh, ya think? Tuesday was T's evaluation, we did a million and seven errands this week, and I saw a movie (Waitress) that I wasn't expecting to be great that was, and a movie (The Year of the Dog) that I thought would be hilarious and was instead very, very sad. Friday night was Give Parents a Break night and I got to drop the kids off at the base child care center from 6:30 until 11:30, even though I didn't wait that long to go get them.
For this GPAB, I actually had the house straightened up, even if it's not actually clean. Spotless is out of reach until..well, it will be a while at which point I'm not sure I'll care. I'm making headway sorting through stuff while R is gone, I have tons of stuff that I need to get rid of and I'm planning a huge yard sale in the spring. Recharged by a few hours really, truly all to myself, the kids and I had a great weekend and geared up for another week to begin. Next weekend is the middle of March and I swear that it seems like we JUST hit February.
Tonight I gave the kids a bath and had the shock of my life when T went pee into the potty chair. The secret is to leave him alone in the bathroom, which I kind of suspected. I made a huge deal out of it and it he was so proud - as I was and as R was. All these little steps he's taking will lead him away from me so soon and it's bittersweet. T and I, we've been through a lot together, him putting up with me as I learned parenting skills as we went along (I still have a long way to go) and my total cluelessness about all things boy. I don't think I've made the mistake yet of considering myself his friend instead of his parent. I don't think so, but I've been wrong about plenty this week alone, so only time will tell.
Now, as I write this, I know it's going to come back and haunt me, but here goes anyway. Not too long ago, my brother sent out a mass email letting people know that he and his wife are pregnant and due in September. I knew they wanted to have kids, and in that respect I'm happy for them. Yet, I just can't shake the very vivid memory of how they seemed to shun T last year when we were in NC. Granted T hit his terrible two's right around that time, but my brother, who had at least SEEMED interested in us and how we were doing prior to our visit, just sort of faded away. During the five months we were there while having S and waiting on her passport, I think we saw them a total of seven times. I know that I can be oversensitive to certain things, and so can my brother. This is something I have been trying really hard to work on. So I find myself wondering as I got an invite to an online photo album that shows they've finished the nursery what they'll do if they end up with a kid who has horrible temper tantrums or a speech delay or some other issue. And, in doing the math, for someone who's had a lot of trouble getting and staying pregnant, it just seems like Russian roulette advertising a pregnancy and completing a nursery this soon. Or maybe I'm just odd and totally out of touch. But if I'm being honest, my feelings are really hurt by the way they treated me and T on and since our visit. Of course I need to address this with my brother, but from the way our last conversation went, I'm persona non grata in his life which is too bad. I also realize that life is too short to have regrets about things you can not change. So, it is what it is and I'm moving on.
We are past the halfway point of R's absence and he recently found out that he's the Information Assurance Program manager of the YEAR (Go R!!!!) for USAFE (US Forces in Europe). Between the pee and the award, I'm not sure who to have the party for!!!!!! Can't wait to put that in our Christmas letter...hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!
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