It hit me a few minutes ago as I was trying my best to catch up some blog reading that I'm not as needed by my kids anymore.
Not really sure how to feel about that at the moment.
I'm glad they are independent and like to figure things out for themselves. I like that I no longer have to be RIGHT THERE every second for them to have a good time.
I really like being able to go to the bathroom all by myself. (Not gonna lie - I really, really like that.)
At Dad's they would go downstairs and play for a while with no intervention from me. At Mom's they would play on the porch or go outside even if I weren't with them.
It surprised me to discover that my favorite part of that was that they always came back.
Today they kids have spent the last hour and a half playing on the floor together with a minimum of fighting.
No I haven't drugged them. Or threatened them. Or pissed them off.
They went to vacation bible school today for the morning. I was looking forward to it for many reasons. T decided he didn't want to go this morning and that he would hate it. I told him, gently but firmly, that he was registered, I had paid, and he was going. I figured that he'd get there and all would be well.
He wasn't the least bit hesitant to go in or for me to leave - partly because he saw people he knew from school, the Y, and from kids club. I had hoped that would be the case.
I went to the gym, did a couple of really boring errands, and then picked them up. When T saw me coming, his face lit up and he gave me a really cheerful "HEY MOM!" from across the room.
It's pretty cool that my kids can make me feel like a rock star some days.
We picked up S, headed home, had lunch, played a game together, watched a half hour of Nick Jr., and they've been playing since then.
Sometimes? Sometimes I love these kids so much my heart actually hurts. Today is so one of those days.