Inspiration for those days when I really need it.

Steak and veggie soup

I love soup. The kids aren't so crazy about it, so I tend to make it when I know I won't mind eating several days in a row.
I started with some chunked up sirloin

Seared it in a non-stick pan with a little pepper, garlic, and italian seasoning.

Drained the grease, added some reduced sodium chicken broth (since I wasn't aware I didn't have any tomatoes until too late), and simmered on medium high for about 15 minutes.

Threw in some frozen veggies and let it simmer on low for about 25 minutes. It looks like it would taste watery, but it is so flavorful. I'll let it sit overnight in the fridge, then I'll bag and freeze it in portions. When I'm ready to eat it, I'll add a little water and probably some more veggies  and toss it in the microwave for about 5 minutes. Low calorie, no added sodium, tons of flavor.

When I'm tired of talking, I cook.

So the other day, Tucker asked me if I would make meatballs. For someone who LOVES meat, Robert's not a big fan of meatballs. I don't know if it's meatballs in general or mine specifically, but I rarely make them when he's home. I found some super lean (97) ground top round at the commissary this weekend, so I bought it. Normally I make meatballs with ground turkey because once you add sauce and seasonings, you really can't tell the difference. Well, maybe you can, but I can't. So I started with the ingredients - parm, italian style bread crumbs, pepper, italian seasoning, garlic and an egg.

Tossed it all in a bowl and mixed. I don't measure, so I have no idea how much of anything is in there besides one egg and one pound of meat. I just do it until it looks right.

I roll them and put them in a glass dish that I spray with Pam.

Cover with aluminum foil and bake at 350 for about 40 minutes.

Drain any grease, then transfer to a pot, add sauce, and simmer for about 30 minutes. That gives me time to do the dishes and cook the pasta.

Sprinkle with cheese and voila! Dinner is served!

I asked Tucker how it was after he took a few bites. His response? He grunted. I'm going to take that as a compliment. And by my calculations, this huge bowl full is around 400 calories, which isn't too bad. 

From the heart...

A few minutes ago, Sara came downstairs because she woke up and had to go to the bathroom. She's been complaining of a headache off and on today and then tonight she fell and smacked her head at the Y. I'm betting that in no way did that help her headache.

She is so tired. I think that maybe it's a growth spurt because she actually fell asleep in the car today. That rarely happens.

So after she finished in the bathroom, she sat down on the steps and just sort of slumped against the wall. She wasn't whining, just honestly too tired to walk upstairs by herself.

It's at these exact moments that my heart melts and all of the past days, weeks, months of tantrums and battles and defiant behavior just....dissolves. She's still my baby in many ways.

I picked her up and carried her up the stairs. As I headed down the hallway to her room I realized that I wasn't out of breath. Not even a little. Sara is solid. She weighs about 50 pounds or so, so it's not exactly a piece of cake to carry her around.

So it's thrilling to me that I can do this with ease these days. I don't think she minds it either. Tucker has always wanted to be on the go since he learned how to crawl. Sara has always been my clinger.

I got her settled back into bed and all re-tucked in. As I was leaving her room she said "Mommy?"

Me: Yes, Sara?
S: Thank you for carrying me upstairs.
Me: You're welcome, sweetie.
S: Mommy?
Me: Yes, Sara?
S: When I grow up I want to be a mommy like you.
Me: And what kind of mom is that?
S: The best kind.

Heart. Melted.

Motivation Monday - yes on Tuesday. I've been busy.

Well, I missed the midnight mark to start, much less post this so it's once again the Tuesday edition of Motivation Monday.

Why did I miss the deadline? I've been cutting out, sorting, and packaging box tops for education. Man, that is one thankless, gross job. People? Wipe the food off before you send them in. And if you could trim the edges, we'd all be grateful. Blech!

But back to the regularly scheduled post....

Want to hear some actual motivation for me this week? I bought a pair of workout pants last week that fit...and they weren't from the plus sized section. A friend of mine had given me some pants that were too big for her last year. I could get them buttoned, but I was afraid to breathe too deeply. It wasn't pretty. Bolstered by my smaller sized workout wear, I tried on a pair. HOLY COW, they not only fit, they were a little big.

YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!

So I tried them all on. And they ALL fit. Which means I can now donate or give away most of my current clothes because they are too big.

Then I got really brave and pulled out "the bin". The bin has clothes in it from the last time I felt I was a reasonable size. I was sure three years ago that if I could every wear those clothes again (the last time was in 2001) that my weight loss worries would be over.

Well, guess what. They fit. My body shape has changed somewhat, so the clothes fit a little differently, but they still fit. Comfortably.

However....I am nowhere even close to being done with my weight loss journey. I want to lose at least another 60 pounds.

I think about that woman three years ago who looked at those clothes and thought they were a reasonable size. Who WAS she? How could she think that?

I don't think I realized until that very second how far I've truly come. I'm not going to accept mediocre any more. I've done that for way too long. This is my shot to get it together and I'm not going to blow it.

Second motivational thing (at least for me) I'm jogging half a mile without stopping. I only jog about twice a week because between zumba, plyo, and weight training, I put my body through some beatings. When I'm running too frequently, my back starts to really bother me. And my toes have calluses on the ends. No pain, no gain.

And with that, I'm heading to bed. Tomorrow is plyo day. Bring it.

Lyrics in my head. HELP.

Hello, my name is Brooke and I have a lyric in my head problem.

If I know the words (and sometimes just the title) to a song and a situation comes up that reminds me of those lyrics? I get them stuck in my head.

SO annoying!

Case in point: the week I was talking so much with Chris, this is what was rattling around in my head -

I wrote a letter that I never mailed
I rehearsed the dialog in my head
in case you ever want to track me down
I'll take my cell phone to bed

This is from Crash and Burn by Sheryl Crow.

A few months ago, I downloaded a bunch of stuff from iTunes. I tend to download music in waves. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing...WHAM! Tsunami of 80's music.

Case in point: Any of you that were more than 5 years old  in the mid to late 80's remember this?

I've got a pocket
full of holes
head in the clouds the king of fools
you've got a ribbon of rainbows
the sun in your eyes
burning through

This song is CONSTANTLY in my head. I have no idea why. I used to have the album and loved it, but I'm starting to change my mind. Go away, Icehouse lyrics. Go away, go away. Oh, and any of you that remember it or look it up and now have it stuck in YOUR head? I'm sorry.

My new obsession is a tie between dubstep which the kids also love and the song "We Are Young" by Fun.

Only then, because of my seemingly limitless mental compilation of 80's music, "We Are Young" then turns in to "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar and then back into "We Are Young" by 3OH!3.

Confused? Yeah, I get it. I'm confusing myself.

And the dubstep that gets stuck in my head is the actual music, since dubstep doesn't really have lyrics. But Sara's favorite is Hello by Going Quantum. My favorite is probably Android by Obsidia so when people are talking to me and I'm just not into the conversation, those two songs battle in my head and all I hear is Hello. Android. Hello. Android.

And then I start to smile because how bizarre is this?!? And there's no way to explain any of it without sounding like an idiot.

But after Zumba today, I've got Price Tag by Jessie J in my head:

why is everybody so serious
acting so damn mysterious
you got your shades on your eyes
and your heels so high
that you can't even have a good time...

...it's not about the money, money, money
we don't need your money, money, money
we just wanna make the world dance
forget about the price tag

ain't about the cha-ching cha-ching
ain't about the ba-bling ba-bling
wanna make the world dance
forget about the price tag

And now that I've written about all of these, I've got them all rolling around in my head. My dreams tonight should be interesting, that's for sure.

What songs get stuck in your head?

Definitely something

I've spent the last two weeks on a roller coaster of emotions. Emotions, by the way, aren't really my thing. I prefer life to be more like a nice path through a pretty garden: neatly landscaped, well planned, color coordinated. Organized. Contained. Weeded. Let's just say it - managed. And preferably bug free.

Unfortunately, life is rarely like that.

Since my first contact with Chris I've been all over the emotional map. I'm not really sure what to do with any of it, much less how to handle it.

Yet.

But I'm figuring it out. There's been some contact over the last week or so, and it has been positive. When I say positive, I mean he hasn't told me to get lost or that he never wants to talk to me again. I think we just started off a little too...fast paced? Intense? Frequent?

Life is like that sometimes. And this is an unusual situation.

We'll figure it out.

And that's something. Definitely something.