Just thinking about over thinking

I saw this on Facebook and actually laughed out loud this morning:



For me this is so true. Especially #1. Hello, my name is Brooke and I'm a chronic over-thinker. Often the the detriment of whatever or whomever I'm thinking about.

Funny how that works!

Example 1: Stupid, stupid PCS (military ordered move) cleaning.  I cleaned our house. I bitched about cleaning our house. Then I cleaned it again. And again. And again. I had heard a nice variety of things about how strict the privatized housing office was on PCS cleaning. Better safe than sorry, I figured - and I manged to re-aggravate my carpal tunnel getting it all done. But I was determined not to give these people one. more. dime.

Did my husband try to help me? Yep! Did he get really frustrated with me? Oh heck yes! Let me quote him, "I feel like, no matter what I do, it's not up to your standards."  To which I WISELY did NOT reply, "Want it up to my standards? Make it spotless." I also didn't point out that they weren't MY standards. They were the military/housing office standards.

Imagine my relief/surprise/pleasure when, at our final inspection, the lady walks through, double checks all the blinds and cabinets and announces us done and fee free. Now, also imagine Robert thinking (no idea if this is true) "Awesome. Now I can live with her again!"

Was it worth it? Meh. The jury is still out on that one. I am a perfectionist in certain areas. It's why my overpacked, always cluttered house drives me crazy on a constant basis. I'm fine with things not being perfect all the time. I mean, we live in these places with two young kids after all. But I do notice. Like the stack of papers on the bar that have been sitting there since we unpacked boxes two weeks ago. Or the Legos scattered across the playroom floor. Ideally, I'd love for those things to have been handled by someone else. But I know good and well that will never happen. Why is that? Because it only bothers me. And, despite my longing for a eternally clean house, that's not truly feasible without driving myself crazy. So I do the best I can and try to let the rest of it roll off my back. Some days that works way better than others.

Example #2

Any sort of strange personal interaction. Someone scowls in my direction? I automatically think - oh no! Did I offend them in some way?

How silly is that? Sometimes (and believe me I should totally understand this), a person is just in a bad mood. If I'm concentrating on something I make a mean face. I know because so many people have mentioned it. I'm rarely upset or trying to be mean, my face just has a mind of it's own. Plus, I'd look like a total idiot walking around grinning all the time. My friends would call the really nice folks in white jackets with the hypodermic needles to come and get me.

I also mentally obsess about conversations that I don't want to have that I'm going to have anyway. Like a confrontation. By nature, I will avoid confrontation at all costs - especially with unreasonable people. I feel people should be able to sit down and rationally and calmly discuss things - even if they are things said people disagree on. But as much as I prefer to avoid confrontation personally, I will jump right in there to defend some one I care about.

 

Of course then, after all is said and done, I will replay it all in my head and critique the situation. What could I have said or done differently? What should I have said or done?

Over thinking.

Example #3

Making a decision (especially that involves other people) about something I don't really have an opinion on or care about either way. I will try to figure out what the majority wants and suggest that. However, that always seems to backfire somehow. I need to just put on my big girl panties and make the decision already. I'll spend more time over thinking something I really could care less about than I do on something I care a lot about. What's wrong with THAT picture?

I could come up with more examples, but now I have to go obsess about this post and whether I made the point I was trying to make or if I got too off topic or whether or not people will think I'm a lunatic or if I've offended anyone or..well, you get the idea. Also, I feel the urge to pick up some Legos. ::snort::