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Back to our regularly scheduled programming....
Sara has missed the bus three times in the last two weeks. Granted, she slept later than usual, but the real reason she missed the bus is because of severe differences of opinion over her wardrobe.
You are probably thinking she wants to wear outfit A and I don't approve. I wish it were that simple! No, nothing with Sara is ever really simple.
Girlfriend has a severe case of wardrobe resistance. What's wardrobe resistance? Well, in this house it's resistance to putting on any piece of clothing she owns without a fight. And by fight, I mean throwing a fit. Matching doesn't seem to matter (she's only five, after all), it's just that she's a grade A control freak. Not gonna lie, she comes by that personality trait honestly.
I've tried letting her pick out her clothes the night before. I've given her creative leeway in that as long as it's clean and fits properly and there's no chance of ruining someones eyesight, she has pattern and color carte blanche.
That little experiment works beautifully until she wakes up the next morning and then suddenly, her choices are no longer acceptable.
I wish that I could translate the sounds she makes during this process phonetically but there's no way. She sounds like a cross between a rabid dog, a wolf, a very hungry grizzly bear, and a very frustrated teenager. Lots of grunting and growling and exclamations like 'arrrrgggghhhhhhhh. THIS. IS. NOT. WORKING!!!!!!!!!'
And yes, if you were wondering, it can be very difficult not to laugh. But if I do and she sees it or hears it, it spikes her to another entire level of anger and frustration. And that, my friends, is seriously no bueno.
By the end of the....event....there are clothes thrown all over, tears have been shed, and she has mentioned her lack of acceptable clothing choices about 30 times. (She has LOTS of clothes. Cute ones.)
I am, predictably unmoved by any of this. It never helps the situation. Sara then turns that into self verified proof about how I don't really love her.
Last week she tried to wear hot pink footless tights as pants.
So then she put light purple knit pants over said hot pink footless tights and combined it with a greyish purple animal print top. The temperature that day was supposed to be 65. Her jacket is a beautiful dark purple, so I'm hoping she left it on for most of the day, because girlfriend was a hot mess in that outfit. I should also mention that she pulled her tights up realllllllly high and the waist of her pants was not pulled up reallllllly high, so you could see the hot pink tights when she raised her arms or sat down or you know, stood still.
I do not understand.
This morning, I picked out a pair of knit pants in medium bright pink that we recently bought at Target. Cuuuuuute! They are tapered and rouched a little around the ankle so that if they are a little long, your child doesn't end up walking all over the edges of the pants. On the back are these cute little bows. Sara loved them in the store and begged and begged for them. This morning, predictably, she didn't want to wear them. At first it was because they were too hard to get on and fit too tight around her legs. Spoken by the girl who will wear winter tights in the middle of summer, so please! Then she refused to wear them because the bow was in the back and she decided bow should be on the front. My solution to this was for her to wear the pants backwards then. Problem solved!
And yet, no. That was not acceptable. So I had to try not to laugh as she stomped around her room fussing and grunting and trying to kick the pants off of the one leg they had managed to be put on. No lie, it was hysterical. She finally figured out to sit down and pull the pants off (YAY, my kid is all smart and stuff) and then ended up shoehorning her way into a pair of jeans from last year. I fear her first attempt at going potty at school will end up with me having to run another pair of pants up there because she couldn't get them unbuttoned and unzipped fast enough. I hope that's not the case, but I'm pretty sure it will be. In that event, I've already packed a change of clothes for her and put them in the car.
Guess which pants I chose?