Friday, October 5, 2012

Three Women I Admire and Some Soul Searching...

Two stories today and three women I admire immensely:

Number one:

I read a blog post today by one of my favorite bloggers - Tatted Mom. Click here to read it. I hope her post goes as viral as the picture of Maria Kang.

Look. I would never make light of anyone trying to live a healthy life. I think it's great that someone who had 3 kids in 3 years can look like Maria Kang. Good for her for being dedicated to keeping her body in shape!


The whole 'What's your excuse?" thing? I'm so over it. Tony Horton posted a picture of a guy who did P90X with absolutely phenomenal results. He only has one leg. The caption on that picture? Yep. 'What's your excuse?' Not knocking him down for it - he looks amazing and I have no doubt he worked his butt off to make the changes.


I think there's a whole lot more to being fit than a number on a scale or what size pants you wear or how toned your abs are. It's entirely possible to be thin but not fit and it's possible to be fit in an unhealthy way. And no picture shows whether or not you have a healthy attitude towards food or a healthy balance in other areas of your life. ALL of those factors are equally as important (if not more so) than how you look in your undies.

As a fat girl, I'm about to share a secret with you. Fat people? We KNOW we are fat. Most of us, no matter how jolly or how overweight/obese are well aware that as fat people, we are considered 'less than'. And I'm willing to be that most of us Fatty McFattersons are way harder on ourselves than the public would think. So how about lifting us up, fellow humans? How about not giving us yet another reason to make the damn excuse you are so willing to berate us for. How about a little love?!?!

::Deep cleansing breath::

Number two:

Last night after Zumba, my friend Megan and I decided to go have a drink. It turns out that some other people from class had the same idea. The first one of those ladies that arrived at the restaurant invited Megan and me to join them. Since I've never experienced anything but kindness from my Zumba peeps, I was thrilled at the invite (the more the merrier) and we accepted.

And then the rest of them arrived. Two of the girls seemed...put our joining their little party. Had either Megan or I thought for one second that we would have been intruding in any way, we would have politely declined and been just fine hanging out by ourselves.

But by the time we all got settled at the table and the body language came across, we had changed tables three times (not my preference, but majority rules) so we stayed put. I was sitting on the same side of the table as the two that were less than thrilled at our presence and directly across from Megan. I was totally fine with just ignoring the situation. The girl beside me had angled herself so that her back was to me anyway. I was totally fine with the live and let live thing.

But after about half an hour, Megan leans over and says something so incredibly nice to the girl beside me that all the tension just melted and at least Megan was forgiven for the intrusion. Possibly me too. And at the time (and I also told Megan this later), all I could think was this - how hard would it have been to do the same thing? What would it have cost me to at least try and break the ice? (The answer to that? Not a thing!) But I was totally fine with sitting there and pretending the girl beside me didn't exist since she was doing the same thing to me. Shame on me!

Number three:

I can't really tell the third story because it isn't mine to tell. What I CAN say is this: the whole mean girl thing doesn't end when you get out of middle school, high school, or even college. That is such a shame. So for third third woman that I admire, I hope you read this and figure out that I'm talking about you. And that some of the decisions you made in the last week have not been easy, but they have been really brave. And I am so honored to know you.

But how do these tie together?  First, they all made me do some serious thinking about the kind of person I want to be and whether or not I'm on the right path.  Second: Words matter. Actions matter. It's not okay to be unkind. Ever.  Third, bravery is speaking up. Whether to agree or disagree, defend yourself or explain yourself, or just to say something kind. But speaking up can be done well and respectfully - just like the three people referenced in my blog post did. Bravery is also doing the right thing.  I need to do better in all three areas. And fourth, how lucky  and blessed am I to know some freakin' awesome people?!?

Who are you thankful to know?


Anonymous said...

You would be glad to know that Maria has a free mommy group that she dedicates her time to helping other women be the best that they can be. NOT look like her, but be healthy and feel good in their own skin. Maybe ONE looks like Maria, they rest are all struggling and Maria has helped them to not only lose weight but raise their self esteem after having kids. She doesn't hesitate to tell people what they are doing wrong so they can adjust but people have to want change. She doesn't force it.

Brooke said...

Dear Anonymous -
I think it's wonderful that Maria started a group for women and especially for mothers. I applaud her for trying to help and inspire anyone to live a healthier life.

But if I am being completely honest, the use of 'What's your excuse' negates a lot of that positive work. Why not say something along the line of: 'I did it, and you can too!'?

I do agree that people have to WANT to change. Thanks for your comment and best of luck to Maria in all of her endeavors!