Monday, October 29, 2012

The truth hurts, but it can make you laugh until you cry

So, this weekend was planned like this: Saturday Robert and Tucker were off to go camping with the Boy Scouts. Sara and I were going to hang at home in opulence and total comfort and do girl stuff. I had thrown out an invitation for people to come over and watch Rocky Horror on Saturday night. Sunday was going to be a much needed, well deserved down day.

Early Saturday morning (and for the record - early Saturday morning involves anything before 9 am) Sara was up, Robert and Tucker took off, and that meant that I, too, was reluctantly up as well. Emphasis on reluctantly.

I was downstairs unloading the dishwasher and I had one of those annoying moments of clarity  My house is messy and cluttered. I dislike clutter immensely. So it's either poetic justice or karma that I'm constantly surrounded by it.

Inspired by who-knows-what or perhaps horrified that people would be coming over to SEE my messy house, I made a deal with Sara. Let me clean and I would invite a friend over for her to play with AND I would take her that afternoon to get her fingernails and toenails painted. She eagerly agreed (probably because nothing was mentioned about her helping me), so I invited her friend over and got to it.

One little problem. Tucker, in his attempt to protect us from a spider last weekend, tried to smush it with the broom. The broom broke. I forgot to pick up a new one each time I went to the store. I'm too embarrassed to say how many times that is. And like a Groundhog Day short, I'd go to grab the broom and say, "OH! That's right. I need to buy a broom!" And just like magic, the thought would disappear until I went to grab the broom again. Thank goodness for my Dustbuster or things would have been...well, they would not have been pretty.

So it's Saturday morning. I haven't showered and I know I'm going to get all kinds of  nasty from cleaning or at least feel like I'm all kinds of nasty. I am SO not going out in public without showering but I really need a broom.

What to do...what to do...

I got down on my hands and knees with clorox wipes and cleaned the floor that way.

Can I just say...Gross!

But that little bit of detail cleaning inspired me to REALLY clean. And it took forever. But I also got a lot of de-cluttering done and I was so proud. I also had put baked apple pie into my Sentsy warmer so the house smelled really good. That could also be because I actually scrubbed out the garbage disposal which was 200 kinds of nasty and detailed the bathroom. ::shudder::

Sara and her friend played upstairs and stayed out of my way. I think they tried on every piece of clothing Sara owned, but they were so cute when they came down to model that I didn't mind having to refold and re-hang everything. Plus, I made her help. HAHA!

We went and got Sara's nails painted around 3:30 or 4. She chose a black glittery polish and the nail salon tech drew spider webs on her big toenails and her middle fingernails (obvious comment being avoided about that). Cute, cute, cute! And in my cleaning frenzy, I found a bag of boots that my mom had brought to Sara at some point in the last year. I had completely forgotten about them. Sara tried them on and they all fit. And when she wears them, she looks so grown up. She's not a baby anymore. And that girl has style. I envy her that!

Anyway, it turns out that this weekend was probably not the best weekend to have planned a Rocky Horror viewing on such short notice and it ended up not happening. Megan and her daughter decided to come over anyway (probably because I begged) and we hung out. Sara was delighted to have a playmate (and someone to show her nail art).

We ended up going out for dinner and ended up having Mexican. Yum. Only, on the way home, something I ate didn't agree with me and I had to go to the bathroom pretty badly by the time we got back.

After making a beeline for the bathroom and being as discreet as I could be about it (fan running and hoping for minimal sound effects), I washed my hands and rejoined everyone in the living room. I had made a low fat dessert (brownies made with pumpkin - YUM!), and we had leftover birthday cake so I offered everyone dessert.

Megan and I sat at the big table and Zoey and Sara sat at the little table. After they finished eating, I asked them both to wash their hands. They both headed for the bathroom versus the kitchen sink. Uh oh.

I looked at Megan and said, "It may still be pretty stinky in there..." right about the time Zoey walks up to bathroom door - mind you, not INTO the bathroom - and says loudly, "EWWWWWWWWWW! It's STIIIIIINNNKKKKKYYYYYYYYYY!" and turns on her heel and walks away. Sara, without comment, goes in and shuts the door - minus gas mask or air freshener.

Now I know that really, you had to be here to appreciate all of this, and that probably only Megan and I will read this and still laugh until we cry, but -

we both burst out laughing and laughed until we cried. Megan commented somewhere along the way that she was sorry about Zoey being so outspoken, and I commented that she spoke the truth and sometimes the truth hurts and that Sara just went in and closed the door without even blinking. Which made it all the funnier to both of us. So I guess that it's true that Megan's s**t really DOESN'T stink and it's also true that Mexcian food is not my friend because that's not the first time eating at that restaurant has upset my stomach. But I think Zoey, bless her heart, was my first casualty. Sorry Zoey!

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