Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Sucking it up

Things have changed here in the Dahl household.

And by changed, I really mean that I have decided that I am, in fact, the boss of the house and that being super nice and acting as the peacemaker is getting me nowhere.

I know, I know, these seem like good things in theory. I thought so too. But it has come to my attention that my kids tend to treat me like a doormat lately and seeing as how I don't care to be trod upon, it was time to do something about it.
photo from casablancapa.blogspot.com

The kids, predictably, have been somewhat resistant to my demanded changes.


I, predictably, have been fighting the urge to shout lectures at them. You know, the whole 'you don't know how lucky you have it/when I was your age/my house, my rules' sort of baloney that they don't listen to anyway.

I keep telling the kids that words are nice to hear, but actions speak way louder and way more convincingly.

The best way to demonstrate that is to lead by example, right?


Yeah. It's harder than I thought. 

And my kids are, for the most part, really awesome kids. But we are having a lot of issues with disrespect lately. If it's bad now, I can only imagine what it will be like in five more years. So! It's time to nip that right in the bud.  And also thank God that I didn't have kids with my ex-husband, but that's another story entirely.

My kids are used to me saying things are going to change and then slowly slipping back into parental slackness where I let stuff slide (and build up) until I explode and repeat the process. That's not how I want to parent. So this time I've been sticking to my guns.

It has not been pleasant. Predictably, when they figured out that I wasn't kidding and that I wasn't backing down, things got way worse instead of way better. But I also realize that once there is an established foundation of acceptable and unacceptable behavior, that things will be easier for everyone involved. Right? RIGHT?!?

Tucker told me last night that he didn't like me because I am so mean now.

I'm okay with that. I figure it's actually  healthy that he doesn't like that things have gotten more strict around here. Not to mention he is 'using his words'! Which, really, doesn't that sound completely patronizing? Of course he uses his words. That's how he speaks. Duh!

Let's face it, there have been days when I haven't liked him all that much either and I clearly remember not liking my parents back in the day when things didn't go my way. Yet, everyone survived.

Yeah. Right. (photo from time.com)

And also - life isn't fair, kid.

To my great surprise, Sara has been the one to adapt the quickest. She and I? We are doing much better than a few months ago. Who would have thought it? (not me, that's for sure!)

No comments: