I've come to the conclusion that I need some serious work on my personality.
As most of you know, I have begun the frustrating, time consuming process of having T evaluated with the school system here. I originally took him in for speech and possibly behavioral issues, but due to his lack of cooperation, now he's being evaluated for Autism Spectrum Disorders and who knows what else.
So here's the latest. We had our appointment with the developmental pediatrician. Imagine my surprise when we recognized each other from the post office. She was nice enough to let us cut in front of her in line one day when the kids were being a little difficult. I think the other people in line took up a collection of money and jewelry in order to thank her, not that I blame them. T's latest favorite trick is to flip himself over the back of any chair or couch. Unfortunately, he could care less if there's anyone IN the chair or couch. One day I'll look back on this and laugh, I'm sure of it. I just don't have any idea when that will be.
So, we came into the Dr's office, T was quite reluctant, so the Dr. and I sat and chatted for a while until Tucker warmed up to her. She had completely reviewed his medical files, which impressed me. I can say that's the first time I've been impressed by the medical staff here. She told me that he definitely does not have Autism, which is a huge relief. So now we just have to figure out what's going on with him and the best way to handle it.
Which leads me to an update on the Major. T had an appointment with the occupational/physical therapist that works for the school system. The OT/PT told me when we left our meeting that T had done just fine, she had gotten him to do most of what she needed him to do and that she'd be in touch. Several weeks later, she calls and leaves me a message, so I call her back. She wants permission to observe T in a classroom setting. Of course I give it to her and I give her Mrs Joyce's contact info. Only, she doesn't want the contact info for Mrs. Joyce because the classroom observation she's talking about is through the school. I'm confused. He doesn't attend school through the school system. So the OT/PT tells me that he's supposed to go for a week or so in order to be observed. This is news to me and I tell her so. She's stunned no one has been in touch with me - me, not so much. So I tell her that until someone gets in touch with me, he'll not be in any program but Mrs. Joyce's and I also do not plan to pull him out of Joyce's to attend school with the school system since I have to pay his tuition whether he's there or not. Harrumph.
The day before I take T to the developmental pediatrician, I get a call from the Major. In her typically snotty way, she tells me that she's spoken with the OT/PT and now she (the Major) wants to observe T again, but not before she gets in her digs about how difficult he is and blah blah blah. And that, since he's so difficult, she's going to rearrange the room to give him no choice but to go to a station and participate. I mentally snort with laughter as she is so sure she's solved this puzzle and gives T absolutely no credit. So then the tit for tat between she and I begin. She wants to see him the next day, which is the day he's scheduled to go to the developmental pediatrician. That's not going to work. He's so resistant to this process that we might as well try to convince the Brooklyn Bridge to move itself over a block or so. I think we'd have more success. As the debate between the Major and I continues over when to bring him in to see her, I suggest that we see anyone else because of his (and my) immense dislike of her. She denies this request, of course, and says she's the only one that does this. I find this very hard to believe.
Then SHE mentions something about T attending school and I again say that no one has gotten in touch with me about this, and my suggestion to whomever is planning this little school attendance needs to call me ASAP because I'm not throwing a wrench into our routine when I've been dealing with this process since the first week in February. And since this is the second time in the last four weeks that I've heard that he is supposed to attend school 'soon', I'm becoming less likely every day to be accommodating when it's been planned for months and I'm just now being told. After a few more minutes of sniping at each other and a few more digs back and forth - she's just sooooo convinced he's autistic - we agree on a day, time and place for evaluation.
The day after he's been pronounced 'NOT autistic', we head off to the school for our appointment with the Major. T, predictably, freaks when he sees her and does not want to cooperate. However, he listens to me, calms down and I can get him to do most of the things she wants. I was doing SO WELL about being mature and focusing on what was really important, which was T, and then she had to open her big, fat mouth and get all snarky with me over the fact that he didn't know how to button yet. SIGH. So then I had to open my big, fat mouth and snark back, "Wow - it's just killing you that you were wrong about him being autistic, isn't it?" And with that, she pronounced the evaluation over and T cheerfully left (and so did I). I so don't like this woman - oh my goodness. But I have to admit I'm worried - she's the head of the committee that determines if he qualifies for help and I think that my doing battle with her, however justified I think it may be, is going to end up hurting T in the long run. We are really stuck here with limited resources and opportunities so if it's decided that he actually needs help, how much are we going to get from the school system when the Major is all up in everyones business. I am so tempted to take him to the states for evaluation. Plus, it's already nearing the end of the school year. Have we gone through all of this only to find out at the end of the evaluation that since it's so near the end of the school year we'll have to start all over next year? Deep down I think that's a real possibility.
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