Saturday, January 26, 2008

Oh, Doctor, Doctor

So! The kids are over their ear infections, T is on the path to healing with his hand - I'm the only one around here struggling these days. Which, honestly, I'd rather it be me than the kids anyway. Whatever this illness I have is, it's getting worse. My sinuses are really painful, I'm coughing like crazy, and I keep running a fever. PHOOEY. This means I need to go back to the doctor.

So I call Wednesday morning. They have an appointment at 12:45. I"ll take it. The morning goes by as usual, I pick up T from preschool and off we go to the doctors office. After struggling to get the kids, me and a stroller down a flight of stairs (this isn't the area of the clinic that I usually visit), we are checked in immediately which is very unusual and very welcome. In no time, the kids, the stroller, and me are packed into an exam room the size of a bathroom stall. Well, THIS should be fun. I've got T strapped into the stroller, occupied with cookies. I'm holding S and she's loving it.

Tap tap on the door and in comes Dr. G. I've never met Dr. G before. Usually they shake your hand and introduce themselves, he does neither. I'm sure he's heard me coughing so I don't think much of it. I'm hesitant to shake strangers' hands this time of year myself.

I apologize first thing for bringing the kids. You aren't supposed to, which is understandable. But, I need to get better and quickly, and I had no other option today. So, we are all going to have to suck this one up. Dr. G doesn't see it that way, and instead lectures me on why we are not supposed to bring our kids to our appointments. Apparently, according to Dr. G, kids are germy, disease ridden creatures and there are pregnant women coming into this clinic. Said pregnant woman can now pick up some disease my kids apparently ooze out of every pore which could cause her to miscarry.

Come again?!?!?!?

Here I am, sick as can be (the kids are perfectly healthy at this point, by the way), running a fever, with so much sinus pressure that my teeth hurt, on my second visit to the doctor in two weeks for the same illness, exhausted because I can't sleep since I cough all night long. I've had what could be argued as the worst two weeks of my life, and now some Doogie Howser wannabe is going to give me a guilt trip for coming into a medical clinic when I'm sick? Oh, I SO don't think so.

Well, thanks! I tell him. I didn't think I could feel worse, and now I do. Great!

He just wanted me to know the ramifications of bringing in my kids.

Wow. So I guess I shouldn't go to the grocery store - there might be pregnant people there. I guess I shouldn't leave the house actually. I have nothing against pregnant women. I would be sick with guilt for giving one a cold, much less a more serious illness that might cause a miscarriage. But, seriously, dude. Shut up and give me something that makes me well.

Dr. G proceeds to rap on my sinuses (why not just use a jackhammer?!??) and look in my ears (lucky for you I cleaned 'em out), then announces I need a prescription for antibiotics, and he tells me to take two hot showers a day - one in the morning and one at night - to help with my congestion. (I'll be sure to squeeze that onto my to do list since I have so much free time) I might also want to sleep in a recliner. I'd love to - but I don't have one. Who IS this guy? Then he asks if I'm having a lot of discharge (I assume he means nasally) and I say yes, I'm going through over a box of tissues a day. What color is it? he asks. Uhhhh.. it's sinus-infection green tinged with I'm-blowing-my-nose-so-often-and-so-hard-that-it's-bleeding red. He doesn't even crack a smile. This guy is hopeless.

So, exam completed, prescription ordered, he bolts out of there, barely repressing a shudder as he leaves the room. Gee. They DID tell him in medical school that he'd occasionally have to see sick people, right?!!?!?

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