Memorial Day Weekend Memory Making, Dahl style

If I were writing a book, this weekend would need its own section because a chapter just wouldn't do it justice.  In the interest of actually keeping your interest long enough to read all of this, I'm going to make it as short as possible.

Key points: we traded a car, we took a short road trip to Greenville, SC, we placed flags on the graves of veterans for Memorial Day. 

Point 1 - the car. Last year, we purchased a 2014 CR-V from Apple Tree Honda. That experience was so bad - so very, very bad - that neither one of us ever really liked the car. That's pretty ridiculous. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the CR-V, but in our minds it was a constant reminder of a very bad experience. 

Last week, we got a car sale flyer in the mail. Normally, I just dump those right in the recycle bin, but Sara had grabbed the mail and noticed that there was a chance to win a prize on the back. If you scratched off the box and had three in a row, you won. She scratched off the box and had three in a row for a $1,000 gift card from a local grocery store. 

Upon reading the fine print, though, getting 3 in a row only guaranteed you a chance at the prize. Still, we at least had a real chance at it, so why not? I went online and checked out their inventory of vehicles to see what they had and a couple of them caught my eye. I showed them to Robert. He was non-committal, but agreed to go and check it out. We certainly weren't thinking we'd buy a vehicle. My plan was that he could check out the different types of trucks they had in stock and see what he liked, since he's in the market for a truck in the next year or two.

However, there was a Honda Pilot on the lot that grabbed our attention. We looked at it, we drove it, we drove different one, and then BAM! We traded in our CR-V for the Pilot for a truly great deal. Oh, and we did win with the scratch off, but instead of a $1000 grocery gift card it was a $2 bill. But hey, we still won. 

Which brings us to point 2 - road trip!  Sara had spent the night at a friend's house, and we went to pick her up on our way to Greenville. On our way to pick up Sara, we stopped by CVS to return some movies to Redbox and grab something to drink. Robert and Tucker handled returning the movies, I went in for the drinks. It was sunny so I had my sunglasses on, which are prescription. Then I realized I looked like a doof wearing sunglasses indoors, so I took them off and then fumbled through finding and buying the drinks for everyone. When I walked out, I saw a large black vehicle in front of CVS. 

"Wow! That's really nice of Robert to pull around!" I thought. 

I had left him parked on the side of the building near the Redbox kiosks. I still had my sunglasses in my hand and I opened up the door of the vehicle, getting ready to slide into the seat. "I forgot to switch my glasses before I...." I started to say. 

A man, who was not Robert, looked at me (which what expression I have no idea since no glasses = no vision) and said very loudly, "HEY! EXCUSE ME!" To which I smacked my hand over my mouth in horror and apologized profusely whist backing away from the non-owned vehicle as quickly as possible. 

I scurried to the vehicle in which my husband was actually waiting and told him what happened. I was mortified and couldn't bring myself to even look at the other car as we left. Oy!

Point 3 - We got up this morning and went to put flags at the graves of veterans in a local cemetery. Because it was work related, Robert wore his ABUs. Flag planting started at 8, the ceremony was at 10. All the flags were distributed by 9:15, so we were going to walk back to our car and wait until it was time to walk up to the ceremony. There was a car parked close to ours that looked almost exactly like ours. As the kids and I walked to our car, Robert headed towards the other car. "Where are you going?" I called out.

Sara planting flags with her actual dad

He did a double take and jogged back to us. "I was going to get into that other car" he said. 

Been there, done that! It was sadly comforting that he did it too. It didn't even matter that it was our other car and not the new one. ::ahem:: 

Fast forward to the ceremony. Sara handed out flags and poppies to the people in attendance and once it was over, those of us walking back to our cars all started off together. One of the guys that works with Robert was walking near us and had grabbed a doughnut to eat on his way back. For all intents and purposes, both men were wearing the same outfit. At least from a kid's perspective. Sara was so focused on the yummy doughnut that she wasn't looking at his face. So she fell into step with him and was ready to grab his hand when he spoke and she realized it wasn't Robert. She jumped back and scurried over to me. Everyone was a good sport about it, including Sara, even though she was super embarrassed about it. 

"Don't worry," I reassured her,  "it's probably genetic". She didn't find the humor in that, but Robert and I sure did. 

It's certainly been a memorable Memorial Day weekend!

Moving right along...

After two years in our rental house, we recently moved into an apartment. Our lease was up and the home owners decided they were going to move back into the home. We knew this was coming a year ago, it's just a little shocking how quickly the year passed.

Now, I'm a born procrastinator. It's true, I own it. But the housing market where we live is nuts. If you can find a house that has features you want, in the location you want (or at least can accept), and within your budget range, you'd better jump on it. If you hesitate even one second, that house is rented before you can sign your name on the application.

When we first knew we were moving to this area, I think there were 30 or so houses available that we perused. This year? Three. And two of those were kinda sketchy looking. So, we started to look at apartments. To our great surprise, we found one we really liked that also had a 3 bedroom available right away. The property managers were great when we met them and the complex has a lot of amenities *and no yard work*. Apparently the stars were aligned correctly, because BAM! Here we are, all moved in with very few glitches in the process. This is almost unheard of for us. It's almost too good to be true...

And then R got notice that PCS orders were pending. Where are we headed? North Dakota. North Dakota is a looooong way from here.

Sigh.

So now we get to start the whole process over, only from 1600 miles away. I can't decide if this is my reward or my punishment for not procrastinating.

New beginnings are always good, right?

Bad Parenting 101

Yesterday, I had a parent teacher conference with Sara's teacher.

It was a rescheduled conference because I totally spaced on our original conference time last week. By totally spaced, I mean I only remembered when the teacher sent a note home that I had missed it.

::deep sigh::

Sara is a super smart young lady. However, Sara is not a fan of being told what to do. If you know us or if you've followed this blog, you'll know that Sara has been strong-willed from birth. And, while I deeply believe that someday this strong will of hers will serve her well, I am equally positive that someday is down the road and not in second grade.

Since she started school, I've only heard great things about her behavior and attitude in class. For this, I'm especially grateful. All her teachers describe her as sweet, helpful, kind, and excited to learn. I've seen this side of her too, and I'm immensely proud. If she is going be short-tempered, moody, and shouty, I would much rather her be that way at home, Let's face it, I think she's amazing and awesome and I'm going to love her no matter what. Other people (and I think Sara knows this) may not be so tolerant.

However. She had the fortune of being in amazing preschools and had an incredible kindergarten class in Illinois. When we moved here, she tested really high in all categories. Illinois used a different approach in teaching. Not better, not superior, just different.  When I enrolled Sara in kindergarten in NC, the material being covered was material that she had in pre-k in Illinois.  So things were super easy for her for the remainder of her kindergarten year and for first grade. So easy, in fact, that she actually lost ground in most areas. She also got really used to doing really well with minimal effort.

Last year at a parent teacher conference, her teacher recommended a remedial reading program for Sara because her reading comprehension wasn't where it needed to be. I was in favor of that for several reasons. 1) I remember struggling with reading comprehension when I was her age. 2) Tucker was the same way in 2nd grade, so it didn't surprise me that Sara was having trouble too. 3) Sara tends to rush through things she doesn't want to do, and reading comprehension exercises bore her to tears.

I recognize that she's learning foundations right now that will only help her in school and in life. I support the importance of this. Hence, the remedial reading program. The only thing is, it isn't really helping, per se. When Sara feels like doing a great job with reading comprehension, she does. If she's not feeling it, she doesn't. Her testing and class work completely support my theory. To me, that's not a comprehension issue, that's a Sara focus and attitude issue. I don't feel particularly concerned because I know she CAN do it, if that makes sense. The issue is getting her to WANT to.

At my first conference this year, her teacher expressed surprise that Sara was put in remedial reading at all. At today's conference, I discovered that Sara has slipped a level in reading since the last testing period, and her teacher was concerned since her class work and home work have actually been much better.

And then I had to go put my over-sized foot in my giant mouth. While trying to explain that I feel like Sara has been able to sort of skate by on minimal effort for the last couple years, I managed to somehow put her teacher on the defensive. It wasn't intentional. I wasn't being bitchy, snotty, condescending, or making excuses for Sara. On the contrary, I was trying to explain that I know Sara can do the work and do it well. It's getting her to want to that's the problem. You can lead a horse to water, you can even put water in the horse's mouth if you are so inclined, but you can't make it drink. Sara needs to find her own motivation to do well. All I can do, all a teacher can do for that matter, is give her the tools she needs and show her how to use them.

Sara's teacher and I had what I thought was a really good conference. It ran over by a few minutes, and as I was standing up to leave, I joked with her, 'Now you can add counselor to your resume!"  And she looked me in the eye and said something to the effect of, "Well, as a teacher, I am used to trying to help kids that have a bad home life."

Wait...what?!??!

Bad home life? My first thought was to wonder what in the world Sara had said in class. She told a friend of hers in kindergarten that she never had to brush her teeth if she didn't want to. (Again...what?!?!?!?!)  She's told plenty of people that I'm really mean, and from a kid's perspective, I guess I am. I don't let her have cookies for breakfast, or mac and cheese twice a day, or unlimited ice cream. She doesn't get something she wants because she has a tantrum. She has to go to bed at bedtime and sleepovers are rewards for good behavior at home, not just on a whim (like she'd prefer). She has to shower and brush her teeth and write thank you notes. If all of that creates a bad home life, I can live with that.

Happy Birthday to Hubs!

R's birthday was over the weekend. Thanks to Groupon, we were able to go to the beach for the bargain price of $29 a night. (Thanks, Groupon!)

Getting ready to take off

The one thing R wanted to do at the beach was take a helicopter ride. He's wanted to try this for over a decade and this was his lucky weekend. The helicopter rides are advertised everywhere for $20, but when we got to the place the $20 ride was a 2 minute ride basically above the helicopter place. Longer rides were, of course, available for more money, so we bumped up to the next level at $40 a ride per person.

Unfortunately, there were only three available seats on the helicopter, so we had some decisions to make. Do two of us go at a time? Do three of us go and then the straggler gets to go?  How do we decide who pairs up (our kids are way into bickering about everything right now)?

AAAAHHHHHHH. 

Coming back!

So I decided I would skip it. I didn't want to go as badly and Robert and the kids did and that way I could take pictures. Plus, it would save us $40, so there's that. Although, watching them go, I really did wish I could go too, but c'est la vie. 

After the helicopter ride, we went to Broadway on the Beach and walked around until the kids begged us to get them out of the fresh air and into the hotel room because - and no, I'm not kidding - "walking around outside is booooooooooooooring". 

Kids these days. 

This is going in my favorites album!

The back story on this picture is WAY too long for a caption

Details are in the Karma

Having ignored the smart phone trend for ages, Robert and  I finally upgraded this summer. I am still on the fence about whether or not I actually like it. I think I like the idea of them more than actually having one.

This morning, after dropping the kids off at school and stopping to return a Redbox movie, my phone chirped to let me know I had an email. First thought - ooops! I thought I had turned off mobile data! Second thought - well, let me see who emailed me. 

It was Credit Karma. Last year, my debit card was compromised and I've been on super high alert since then to make sure a compromised card doesn't turn into full blown identity theft. So you can imagine how high my eyebrows shot up when Credit Karma informed me that there had been a hard inquiry (which usually means you have applied for new credit) from Target. 

I haven't applied for new credit from Target. In fact, the last time my credit report should have been pulled is when we purchased a car in July. And, since it's relevant, I was not alerted to that hard inquiry by Credit Karma. Just sayin'...

Smart phone or not, I'm not about to pull up my credit report on it. So I dashed home (I was supposed to be going to the gym) because my over-active brain was imagining all sorts of identity theft scenarios. 

Once home, I log in. Credit Karma has somewhat recently changed their format. This means I spend a lot of time clicking around trying to magically recall the old format and find what I'm looking for. It didn't work. And then I totally freaked out because there was a section saying we had 5 accounts past due. WHAAAAAAAAAAA???????? 

After a 'slight' amount of panic (by which I mean a sh*tload) and much more clicking around, there was no balance on those accounts and certainly no late payments. Thanks for the near heart attack, Credit Karma! 

I should also mention that there was no Target credit inquiry on my credit report. Interestingly enough, there was an inquiry from the orthodontist we visited in August, even though I didn't get an inquiry alert from Credit Karma, nor did I actually apply for credit, either. Harrumph.

To add credit insult to credit injury, upon looking more closely at the email that started all of this, I noticed that the Target inquiry was from December of 2012. 2012!!!!!!! I feel like I need to buy a bunch of stickers that says "Voted most likely to panic for no good reason" and sport those on a prominent location - like my forehead.

Good grief.

Changes are a'comin!

I've been thinking a lot in the past year about what to do with this blog.  I started it when we were stationed overseas as a way to let everyone know what we were doing. It was easier than writing the same thing in multiple emails and, I wouldn't be obsessively checking my inbox for replies. What can I say, sometimes I want and need some validation. Hahaha...but seriously...

The kids are older now and T, especially, hasn't wanted too much shared on the blog about his life in the last few years. I completely understand that and respect his decision.

S is disappointed that she's not famous yet. ::snort::

And then there has been the occasional, resulting drama. I love to write. I still love to write. I understand that everyone has (and is entitled to) an opinion. I know that sometimes I will and sometimes I won't agree with people's opinions. But a couple of things have happened along the way and those things made me think really carefully about what I'm doing here.

The thought that I've really and truly hurt someone's feelings affects me deeply. I would never, ever want to hurt someone with my words or actions -whether friend, family, or stranger. I take that stuff seriously. I also resent my words being taken and twisted into something they aren't meant to be. It offends me and it hurts my feelings, especially if it isn't possible to have an honest, grown up conversation about it afterwards.

So, now what? I haven't finished a post since September or October on this blog, even though I've started about 50. I've lost my motivation somewhere along the way. Until now, this blog was my family's story. But now, I think maybe it's time to tell MY story.

I hope all of you will come and visit...frequently. Thank you for reading over the years. I hope you will find the new Daily Dose of Dahl just as engaging as the 'old' one.

Happy 2015!

Brooke

Quiet

photo credit www.thebeaconsglare.wordpress.com

After slapping the snooze button on the alarm clock for the fourth time this morning, I rolled out of bed, padded to the bathroom, took care of business, and started toward the kitchen/family room when I realized something....the kids weren't up.

It was almost 6:15 by this point and that is unusual in our house. My son is a morning person. My daughter isn't really a morning person, but is the kind of person who doesn't like to feel like she's missing anything, so she'll get up just to make sure.

I usually stay up late because I love the feeling of having the house all to myself while the people I love most in the universe are peacefully, soundly sleeping nearby. To have that in the morning was an unexpected and extremely delightful treat.

I stumbled into the living room and curled up on the couch, listening to the world around us wake up. Well, that and the steady, droning hum of the fans we have running to pull in the cooler air from outside. It was still dark outside and the birds were just starting to make noise.

No one was bickering about how long someone else had been in the bathroom. No one was frantically running around looking for their favorite pencil that they had forgotten they had already put in their book bag the night before. No one was yelling in frustration because wearing a long-sleeved, black sparkly shirt with last year's outgrown, too tight, hot pink biker shorts was vetoed. No one was begging for extra dessert in their lunches, or complaining that brushing their teeth in the morning was pointless because they hadn't eaten anything overnight while sleeping.

photo credit www.highcountryimages.com

I was thinking just how nice that was, when it hit me that without all those things, I wouldn't know to appreciate this cool, quiet morning. I wouldn't be able to sit on the couch with a cup of steaming chai tea watching the first rays of the sun fight through the mist and fog over the mountain top I see from my living room window.

I wouldn't know.

What's worse? I wouldn't even know that I didn't know.

Small blessings. Big blessings. I guess it really is all what you notice and what you make of it.