Goodbye house!

I was really sad to leave our house in North Carolina (even sadder to have to sell it at a loss because our realtor was a lying sack of rotten apples, but I digress..), I was sort of sad to leave our house in South Dakota, I was not sad at all to leave apartment housing in Germany, and I was uber sad to leave our house in Germany (still miss that one!)

I am not sad at all to leave our house in Illinois. I am terribly sad about leaving, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with our current address.

image from redstaplerchronicles.com

I'm currently sitting on the couch wondering how on earth as much and as frequently as I've dusted in the last month there can be so much doggone dust EVERYWHERE. When we took our cable box/DVR off our tv stand, I swear the dust is 1/4 an inch thick underneath. And I dusted underneath it less then two weeks ago.

GROSS.

I have removed spiderwebs. I have scrubbed toilets and floors and baseboards and walls. I have dusted, swept, spot cleaned, scoured, rinsed, scrubbed, wiped, and polished. And that doesn't even include the carpet..which deserves it's own blog post of horror.

So...either we are some of the nastiest people on the planet (I sure hope not!) or...this house just all around sucks. SUCKS. SUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKS.

Guess which way I'm leaning...

So goodbye house...goodbye tiny little toilets that feel like I'm going potty in an elementary school. Goodbye poorly planned master bath that has two sinks yet no counter space and an inexplicable door between the sinks and shower/toilet that you can only close if you are standing in the tub. Goodbye crookedly installed outlets and wavy walls. Goodbye hard water that gets more things dirty than clean. Goodbye drafty windows, outlets, and doors. Thank you for freezing us out in the living area in the winter and roasting us out in the summer no matter on what temperature the thermostat is set. Goodbye sink with strange smells and the dishwasher that barely gets pre-washed dishes clean. Goodbye counter tops that stain from everything and  shingles that keep flying off in heavy winds. Goodbye kitchen corner that continues to show water damage even after it's been 'fixed'. Goodbye flickering kitchen light that never, ever flickers when maintenance comes by but flickers incessantly other times. Goodbye oddly shaped living room with many windows and no wall space. Goodbye door stoppers that you can't even manage to secure in the wall with wood putty or carpenters glue. Goodbye leaky kitchen faucet and fridge that we have to smear with Vaseline so that it will stay shut and actually keep our food at the correct temperature. And goodbye light grey/off white carpet that..well...just sucks.

I do realize how lucky we are to have a roof over our heads and that instead of being snarky I should just be grateful...because many people have way less than we do. But for today, I'm letting my snark banner fly.

Timing is everything

Things are busy. I am not a morning person.

These are two facts of my life. 

Last Sunday, I had to catch a 6 a.m. flight to North Carolina. 

In my head, that meant I needed to be at the airport by 5, so I should leave the house by 4, and be up by 3. In my world, that's a little thing I like to call reverse timing. 

What I often forget is that I assume everything will go perfectly, I will resist getting distracted, and there will be flowers, rainbows, and dancing unicorns ushering me from point A to point B. 

Case in point: I got up a little before 3, showered, dressed, finished packing my bag, kissed Robert goodbye, peeked in on the kids and kissed them too, went downstairs and decided I had time to check my email. 

But of course my laptop froze up. By the time I gave up, it was already a little after 4 so I packed up the laptop and went and put my bag in the car. I raised the garage door and....SNOW.  A few inches worth. And it was now 4:10. I got in the car and crept out of the development. The main roads were a little better, but I went slower than I had planned and the likelihood of making time up on the road wasn't looking good.

And then my gas light came on.I had been hoping to make it into Missouri before needing gas since it's about 20 cents cheaper there.

Insert detour to a poorly plowed gas station. 

The highway in Illinois was pretty clear. But as soon as I crossed into Missouri, the roads kept getting worse.  Apparently they got more ice than snow. By the time I got to the airport, it was after 5 a.m. I parked in long term parking and waited for the shuttle.

According to the sign in the shelter, there would be a shuttle every 10 minutes. 

I must have just missed it. And I think the weather made it more like 20 minutes.

When the shuttle finally came, he was nice enough to wait for anyone and everyone in the parking area, even if they had turned in behind him. 

While this was really nice of him, especially considering the weather, I was starting to get anxious. Like, REALLY anxious.

Then again, it was no one's fault but my own. 

By the time I got to the terminal, I had about 20 minutes before my flight left. I went to the kiosk which wouldn't print my boarding passes because I was checking in too late. I went to the counter and the Delta employee there printed my passes and encouraged me to run.

So, I ran to security, which luckily took me right through. Then I ran to the gate, which was at the end of the terminal. I barely made it. I was also sucking wind big time.



I sat down in my seat, they closed the door to the plane, we backed up and.......waited for over 30 minutes for the plane to be de-iced. Ah well, what are you gonna do?

That made us late arriving in Atlanta so after a quick speed walk (thankfully no running) to my second departing gate, I walked right onto the plane to find that I had the whole row to myself. This flight did not have to be de-iced, so we left with no issues and even got to NC early. I walked out of the airport to find that the rental car shuttle was right there, so I hopped right on.

It really was a series of small miracles that I got from point A to point B that day and what did I learn?

1) Check for snow. Even when the forecast doesn't call for it.
2) I need to add 30 minutes of extra time...just in case...for any further airport trips. An hour if it involves the kids.
3) I stink at estimating the amount of time it takes me to do something or get somewhere.
4) I am not a morning person no matter what.
5) I am not in control of nearly as many things as I sometimes I think I am....or should be.
6) There is no point in my playing the lottery - ever - because I just used up a decades' worth of luck on this one trip. 

How well do you really know anyone?

My grandmother passed away February 2. She was 93. She had Alzheimers. If you had seen her periodically over the last eight years, you could see that it was coming.

When Mom called to tell me, my heart broke at the heartbreak in her voice. But Robert and I haven't lived in North Carolina in almost a decade. And in the physical distance, for me there was emotional distance too.

Before last week, if you'd asked me to use one word to describe my grandmother, I would have said complicated. She and I weren't super close, but we were family and we loved each other. I hope that she is in a better place now, finally happy and at peace.

I flew to NC Sunday morning. The viewing and the service was Monday. I flew home Tuesday. She was actually buried on Thursday.

At the service, I was sitting beside my brother and as the Hospice chaplain was speaking about my grandmother, I found myself trying to keep my face blank because I realized the woman he was describing was one I did not know.

This, of course, made me think. You grow up around family (extended family if you are lucky) and just take for granted these presences in your life, but how well do you really know someone? As the kids get older, I find myself realizing that I may have given birth to them and pretty much been with them since birth, but that's no guarantee that I really know them. Nor do they really know me. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Women of my grandmother's generation rarely shared deeply personal things. The kids' generation seems to share every. little. thing. - often on social media. I never stopped to wonder how odd or unusual that must have seemed to her because it seemed so normal to me. Just like I never thought about her as a person, not really, she was my grandmother and that's the only way I really ever saw her.

I don't know what she wanted from her life when she was a little girl. I don't know what her happiest moment was. I don't know so many things about her. I don't know because I never asked. She wasn't easily approachable most of the time, and it never occurred to me to try and figure out why or to break through her barriers.

So as the chaplain talked about my grandmother, I listened...really listened to the way he saw her, my mother  saw her, and my aunt saw her. And I promised that I would try to let my kids really know me and realize that  at some point, I'm going to have to stop seeing them as 'my kids' and seeing them for the people they are and are going to be. And something tells me I'll never be regretful about that.

The purge has begun!

I've finally started the pre-moving purge. All I can say is thank goodness for online yard sale sites because it's so much easier to take a picture and post it online to sell versus, well, any other way.

While I sold a lot, I had a good amount of kids' clothing left over. So I decided to take the rest of the items to a resale/consignment shop and see if they'd be interested in any of it.

To be fair, I need to explain that I had the clothes sorted by gender and size, but with the exception of a few items, they were all stored in black trash bags because it helped to keep them sorted when I put them in large Rubbermaid tubs. I ended up dropping off 3 items on hangers and two black trash bags of clothes.

image from smartrummage.com

The next day when I went back in to pick up the items they didn't want (or as they adorably put it: the no thank yous), I was stunned to see that out of everything I brought in, they only accepted two items, and they were two of the three things I had on hangers.

Hmmmmmm.....

I'm wondering if the packaging was an issue, because there were several items in the bags that had never been worn even though Sara pulled the tags off. Ah, well. It was worth a try, and I did find new homes for lots of the kids outgrown clothes, so I call that a win!

Say What?!?

Last night Sara had dance class. On Wednesday nights, I go to a Zumba class in the same building and I had noticed that there was a Zumba class last night with an instructor I'd never heard of. After dance, Megan and I walked down with the kids and went to check it out.

The instructor's name is Nitro, which I think is an awesome name for anyone - especially a Zumba instructor. It also reminds me of American Gladiators which I used to watch on Saturday mornings after cartoons when there were only 13 channels available (IF you were lucky).

Anywho, we ran into someone that Megan knows who mentioned that she likes to watch the Zumba class and make fun of people.

Ummmmm..........

Here's where I turn into a giant stick in the mud and step up on my soap box.

a) at least the people in class are doing something healthy and are out there and TRYING.
b) the great thing about Zumba is that it's accepted and encouraged (at least in the classes I've attended) to bring your own style to the moves. You can't do it exactly like the instructor? So what! The most important thing in ANY Zumba class is to have fun!
c) people who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Just sayin'.
d) if you are standing to the side of a Zumba class and making fun of people, it's going to be noticed. And you know what? That makes YOU look like an a**hole.

Stepping down from my soapbox with a huff...

I was loving watching Nitro do his thang. I was loving watching his class (which was huge) do their thang. The people in class were at different levels of fitness and all different shapes and sizes but they looked like they were having a blast - which made me really want to go too.

SO!

For anyone out there who wants or has wanted to go to a Zumba class but hasn't because you are afraid of being made fun of or that you won't do the steps right or that you might look silly - listen to me right now!

GO! Get your groove on, shake your moneymaker, dance your troubles away! And if there's someone there rude enough to be standing by WATCHING and making fun of anyone else? Zumba involves kicks and turns and stuff and accidents *cough cough* happen. And I'm sure that occasionally they happen accidentally on purpose by those who defend the right to dance like no one is watching and love every second of it!

Things I'm going to miss most about Illinois

These are in no particular order!

Roads that make sense
Flat roads when biking
My Zumba instructors
My Zumba classmates/friends/partners in crime
Eckert's
Sweet Katie Bee's
the staff at Scott Elementary School
my friends
Motomart. I have no idea why I'm going to miss a gas station/convenience store, but I'm pretty sure the ice has something to do with it.
Margarita's in Belleville
54th Street's gringo dip and veggie burger. On second thought - it might be good that I'm leaving that behind.
downtown Mascoutah
downtown Belleville
downtown O'Fallon
the O'Fallon Y
Monika and Amy from Nirvana Salon
the Running Start
the Egg and I
Culver's
Zion Lutheran Church
girl's night out
Bunco night
Zumbathons
the sunset from my backyard
Midwestern kindness
living on a base
only being 5-6 hours from my in laws
the parks
being so close to the library
Parent's night out
Dos Gordito's margaritas after Zumba with Megan
being able to buy liquor at Walmart if I so desire
not having to deal with heavy traffic
being able to watch an air show from my driveway
Cub Scout Troop #21
Becky Kearn's dance studio
local farmer's markets

I know that's not even close to everything, but hey - it's early.

The one where I make no resolution

It's been 2013 for a week. This time last week, we were fast asleep in Newport News, Virginia after having driven there from North Carolina after finding out that my aunt's husband died from lung cancer.  Because we were driving back to Illinois on New Year's Day, we were all in bed early on New Year's Eve as well.

Long ago, someone told me that what you were doing on New Year's Eve at midnight was an indication  of what you'd be doing throughout the year. The more New Years I welcome, I tend to think what you are doing at midnight reflects more of what you did in the past year than what you will be doing in the upcoming year. Lord knows, I slept a LOT in 2012. Between sickness, iron deficiency issues, and my love of napping, I should probably be one of the most well-rested people on the planet.

This year I made no resolutions on New Year's Eve. I figured that I've done this so much in the past that maybe I should just take 2013 and enjoy it. There are going to be lots of changes and I'm not going to be in control of much of anything. So I have decided to just enjoy the journey, whatever happens and wherever it takes me.

Not to say that I don't plan to make some changes, because I do. It's just that I don't feel like the changes I want to make have anything to do with the date and everything to do with how I see and treat myself and those around me.

Cheesy? Maybe. But I don't really care.