What's the deal-i-o?

Last week passed in a blur. My general schedule was this: get up and get the kids off to school, go back to bed for a bit, get up again, shower, do whatever it was I absolutely HAD to do, be home by the time the kids got home, get homework done, feed them, back to bed.

And yes, it was as pathetic to live it as it is to read about it. I just could not shake my funk. My whole body ached, I was blue, I had no energy.

Not like me at all. I didn't want to Zumba, so you KNOW it was bad.

I think the worst thing about it was that the kids just rolled with it. It makes me wonder - am I like this more than I realize? That's a horrifying thought. I'm hoping that the opposite is true - that I'm normally nothing like I was last week (except for my obvious love for sleep, which has always been a constant in my life) and the kids were willing to give me some leeway because of that. It's a good thought anyway.

Yesterday, we had made reservations to have breakfast with Santa at Eckert's. It was a lot of fun - the  food was excellent, the activities were cute and the lines weren't too long, the kids were excited, and it was very relaxed. On the way home, I started to feel tired. I went upstairs to change clothes and flopped down on the bed. Sara came up right after and wanted to lie with me. Within 20 minutes, I was asleep. And I slept for four hours. This is after getting at least 7 hours of sleep the night before. And then, I was tired by 11 pm last night. What in the world is going on with me?

Today, I felt better. I didn't have a problem getting out of bed, I didn't go back to bed after the kids went to school, I got a ton of running around done that I've been putting off for weeks. I even made it to a Zumba class. I'm starting to wonder if it's hormonal. Maybe I've hit the anti puberty - menopause - although I feel like I'm way too young for that. Any of you have any ideas? Has this ever happened to you?

It's a Zumba update.

A week ago, I taught my very first, real live Zumba class.

So how was it?

It was terrifying. It was thrilling. It was so hard! I was way out of my comfort zone.

I spent the week and a half prior trying to choreograph an hours worth of songs. That doesn't sound like such a big deal, not really, until I realized how much work went into ONE song. I needed to do a variety of song styles, a variety of steps within each song, plus remember all the steps, plus cue the people trying to follow me, plus breathe, plus make it through the entire hour myself, plus somehow stop making my frowny 'I'm concentrating' face which often comes across as a frowny 'I'm a bitch' or 'I am constipated' face. And that's not even addressing the issues I have about a group of people staring at my ample behind.

And no, I'm not kidding, either.

Plus, when I get really nervous, I tend to hold my breath. Not holding my breath while dancing around (hopefully) energetically in front of a group of people is SO much harder than one would think.

In addition, I'm still searching for my personal Zumba style. I love Doreen because she's so expressive. I love Michelle because she feels the music. I love Susan because she is easy to follow and so sweet. I love Vickie because her choreography is fun and really dance-y. I feel like I'm a little bit like all of them, but not a lot like any of them. And that's totally fine...I just need to figure out how to let my personality shine through like they've all done. Mostly it will take practice. Lots and lots of practice. Lots and lots and LOTS of practice.

My first attempt at a playlist was ambitious. I love high energy, fast paced music. However, as I was working through routines, I was working on one song at a time. Putting 12 songs like that in a row was a bad idea. (Just in case you were wondering, my 14 song play list lasted 54.8 minutes. Holy exhaustion, Batman!) Unfortunately, I didn't truly realize this until I taught three songs in a row in two different Zumba classes on the same day. At the end of the third song in each class, I was gasping for air. Like, really contemplating asking for an oxygen tank gasping.

As it turns out, being in front of the group versus following along with the group is a totally different beast. So the day before I was teaching, I changed my playlist up - one faster, one slower...lather rinse repeat. Only problem with that? Then I was using songs I wasn't as familiar with and it made me even more nervous.

Good grief.

So Monday comes, I alternate between praying no one shows up and that lots of people do. It ended up being 4 people, one of which was a really good friend of mine (thanks again, Alicia!).

The hour went by in a blur. A big sweaty blur. Turns out that in all the haste to get the steps committed to memory, I totally forgot about practicing my cues. I mean, I thought I had them down going in, but in front of the class, if I was thinking about cuing, I would lose my place and mess up the steps. If I was concentrating on steps, I totally missed the cuing. And while I tried really hard to smile and make eye contact, I am pretty sure I looked a lot like the Joker - the Heath Ledger version. Not. Pretty.

Why someone didn't throw a shoe at me is a complete mystery!

But I survived. No one yelled "YOU SUCK!" at me, even though (truth be told) I really kinda did. But I was up there, trying my hardest. For sure. So hopefully that came through. And everyone has to start somewhere.

The next day I had an audition to become a Zumba sub. Shaking off the negatives from the night before, I showed up with a really positive attitude. This was only going to be three or four songs in another small group of people - none of which I even knew. Believe it or not, that makes it easier.

Just before class is scheduled to start, in walks the instructor and another Zumba instructor. Turns out she was auditioning too. Not gonna lie, my first thought was 'there is NO way I'm going to get this job over her.' She's really, really good. And thin. And experienced.

And my second thought was this - "yeah! There is NO WAY I'm going to get this job over her!" And just like that, the pressure was off.  She could not have been any nicer or more encouraging to me, and even though we were technically competing for the same gig, she was super supportive when I went up there and just made the experience all around awesome. Afterwards, she was nice enough to give me pointers and advice and offer to let me do some songs in the classes she teaches regularly.

And in case you were wondering, yes she got the job...or at least I didn't. I don't know if the studio had more auditions set up or not.

But that's okay because the hardest part is over. It only gets better from here.

24th Day of Thankful

We took the kids to see Santa today on base. There were no lines, no waiting, just a very chilly looking Santa since they had him sitting outside (what's up with THAT base people?!?) in 38 degree weather. Granted, since he's from the North Pole and all, 38 probably felt plenty warm to him, but we were pretty chilly. It worked out well, since we had lunch right before we went to visit him and Sara spilled her lunch down the front of her pretty dress. With her coat on, you couldn't even tell. Come to think of it, I'm thankful for that too.  And for that fact that my kids made a Christmas list of things they wanted, but still wanted to give Santa money from their allowances to help them buy presents for other kids too. 

I have no idea what they are looking at!

23rd Day of Thankful

Keeping this short and simple - I am so very thankful that I did not have to go out and deal with Black Friday traffic, crowds, and waiting. In the rain. In rapidly dropping temperatures. With employees who wanted to be with their families instead of dealing with customers who had to deal with traffic, crowds, and waiting in the rain and rapidly dropping temperatures.

Thankful.

photo from dailydealmedia.com

22nd Day of Thankful

Today, I'm thankful for the opportunity to have a wonderful meal with a group of people that have become like family to me. That's a pretty big deal to me, because growing up I always heard 'family first'. And I took it very seriously. But my generation, like all the ones before and after mine, does things a little differently. So while my mom's generation grew up with lots of family all around them, by the time I was growing up our family had started to scatter all over the place.

So for me to find a group of people here that not only feels like family, but acts like family...well, that's a pretty amazing thing. And today, I got to have Thanksgiving dinner with some of them. It doesn't get much better than that, especially for a gal who has never felt like she fit in with her own family all that well.

Happy Thanksgiving!

21st Day of Thankful

Today, and every day, I'm thankful for my son, Tucker. He can always make me laugh and he is such a kind-hearted kid. Life is always interesting with him and he constantly amazes me with the things he can do. It's a joy to watch him grow up (even though I think it's going by way too fast) and he gives the best hugs in the world.

2009

2012

20th Day of Thankful

2009

Today, and every day, I'm thankful for my daughter Sara. She is funny, smart, beautiful, and so freakishly self assured. She always makes life interesting and I think I'm learning way more from her than she ever will from me. Even on the really dramatic days, I cannot imagine my life without this amazing child and I cannot wait to see the woman she becomes.

2012