Why are you not biting at your eye?

It's Megan Monday! Megan comes up with a lot of great ideas for me to write about on my blog. Unfortunately, if I don't write them down (and that happens a lot) I forget them. So since I've been really struggling with writing and posting lately, I'm going to pick something she's suggested (or like in today's post - asked), write it down (or text it to myself), and then write about it. On Mondays. Because Megan Thursday just doesn't have the same ring, no matter what she says.

I am really not a phone person. Maybe I spent too much time on the phone when I was younger, maybe I am more easily distracted now (ever notice how your kids never need you as much as when you are on the phone?), or maybe all those years of listening to music way, way too loud have taken their toll. Maybe it's a combination of all three plus a few others I can't remember because as I type, I'm thinking about something else, my fingers are freezing, and I really want a nap.

What was I talking about? Oh, right. I'm not a phone person.

But, to my great surprise, I have spent more time on the phone since we've moved to North Carolina than I have in the last three years combined.

I have no idea why.

Every now and then, when I'm talking to my friend Megan, we'll start talking about one thing, drift to another, and then I'll end up relating to something completely different with an anecdote about my past.

Okay, fine. I said every now and then, but I really meant every time.

SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What?

I've lead an interesting life, okay? It's like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon game. In the end everything is relate-able.

So last week the subject came up of double standards. It was an involved conversation that I couldn't even begin to try and rehash on my blog. (You're welcome. HA!)

I ended up talking about how males and females were treated differently in my family growing up and how I feel that has translated into many of the core differences between me and my brother.

image courtesy of www.cosatu.org.za

I'd relate it to my other siblings too, but I don't have any. My step sister and I weren't raised in the same environment, so she escaped the drama didn't have the same experiences.

I was relating the 'boys need more' philosophy that I heard from my grandfather all the time when I was growing up. I'll spare you those conversations too, mainly because they are completely ridiculous.

After a few minutes of listening to me, Megan chimes in and says something to the effect of, "I do not understand why you are not walking around biting at your own eye."

Isn't talking about something from 30+ (and heavy on the plus, unfortunately) years ago evidence enough that in a way, I AM biting at my own eye?

No?

Sweet!

After thinking about it for a minute or two, I explained that it was all normal to me until I got older and realized that not everyone was raised this way. And that once I realized that, it was like I had been set free - because even at 9, I knew that was a load of crap, but I didn't dare say it.

So why am I not biting at my eye? Well, probably because my hearing is already going, I'm starting to ache when it's really cold, and every year my body feels older than the year before. So why take out a reasonably working, vision-corrected-through-glasses eye?

Spelling Mom and Tucker style

Tucker isn't the best speller in the world. Each week, his homework includes five vocabulary words. During the course of the week, he has to write the definition of each word and what part of speech it is, use the word correctly in a sentence, fill out a chart with the word including synonyms, antonyms, and definitions, and then know how to spell the word. 

On Thursdays, I review all this with him to make sure he's ready for his test on Friday.  Tucker could care less about spelling things correctly because in Tucker logic, he spells words like they sound anyway, so who cares if he spells which w-i-c-h? Sounds the same anyway.

Thursday we were reviewing the vocabulary words for last week - eager, punctual, necessary, benefit, and the one I can't remember. 

Tucker was having trouble with all of the words besides eager and since he was already tired when we started the review, it didn't take him long to become frustrated.

Trying to help, I came up with word associations to make them easier to remember. (I should note for all of you who read this that are old enough to remember, I got this idea from an episode of the Facts of Life where the girls were studying for exams and Tootie suggested "A U, gimme back my gold!" for remembering the periodic table symbol for gold...au.)

Benefit.  Hey Tucker, you have a new gym teacher. Ben E. Fit. His knowledge will benefit you in gym class. 

Necessary. Since Tucker knows how to spell recess, I pointed out the necessary is recess, subbing the r for an n and adding ary. How to remember this? Recess is necessary. Just ask Ben E. Fit.

Punctual.  A play on words is a pun. P-u-n. c (see) t (my nickname for Tucker)? u (you) a l. You not a z, you a l.  It's not punny to make fun of punctual. Especially if u a l. 

It worked. He remembered how to spell the words the next morning. 

Goofy parenting win! 

Deep thoughts, only not really

I think I'm social media overexposed. Or social media-ed out.

Maybe I just feel really old today or something.

I mean, I have a Facebook account that is mostly used to keep up with other people I'm interested in versus, you know, actually calling them or anything. I also have a decrepit Twitter account that I generally tend to remember when the Twitter Gods send me an email either reminding me to use Twitter or to let me know about something they think I should think is important.

::In my best Carrie Bradshaw voiceover:: Is social media actually having the opposite of its intended effect? Are our Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr, Pinterest, and YouTube obsessions actually making us less social in real life versus more virtually social? Like the tree that may or may not make a sound when it falls in the woods if no one is around, does anything that happens count if it's not immediately photographed, videoed, or Facebooked or Tweeted?

Of course, perhaps if I Instagramed every bite of food I consumed I would actually start losing weight again, so maybe I should try it before I knock it.

Gotta go and switch out the laundry. I'll spare you an uploaded photo of that and also forgo my daily selfie (okay, semi yearly selfie) because today I'm totally fine being that out of touch.

I'm only going to say this ONCE

I am a human. I am only human. I have thoughts, feelings, emotions, and opinions. 

I also try really hard to be a kind and thoughtful person. I try to be careful what I say and what I talk about on my blog out of respect for people I know that may not want to appear in my blog, but also out of respect for humanity in general. 

But let me make myself very, very clear. 

Anything that appears on this blog is from MY perspective. 

A perspective I am ABSOLUTELY allowed to have and to voice. 

If you don't like it? Then don't read my blog. If you continue to read my blog anyway, then that's on you and has nothing to do with me. 

The. Freakin'. End.

Validated!

I. Have. Been. Validated.

Please allow me to explain - my fingers are raring to go since I haven't been blogging much since we moved here. I've been too busy doing nothing, I guess. And when you do nothing, you have nothing to write about. 

Ahem. 

Apparently. 

So, we moved in March. It was a rough move on all of us. The kids didn't want to leave their friends or their school. I didn't want to leave my friends and my workout regimen and my social life. I loved the kids' school in Illinois. The teachers and staff were phenomenal and the kids there were really, really good kids. Until we moved here, I didn't quite realize how different things would be. 

I've been lucky that the kids' teachers here are great teachers. They are very interested in seeing their students do well, they have been super kind and sensitive to the fact that my two were the new kids on the block. 

Way, way, way back when I was in school, a new student was something to be excited about. We didn't get too many new kids and everyone would climb all over themselves to be nice. It seemed to be that way in Illinois too. 

Oh, but it's not that way here. People are nice enough to the kids, I guess. But this is a very small community no where near a military base. We may as well be from a foreign country than simply from another state.

I've been trying to put my finger on what bugs me here. I know part of it is that almost everyone in this particular community has known each other for generations - and no, I'm not exaggerating. Despite how it may seem, I'm extremely, almost painfully introverted around people I don't know. And apparently, I possess more than my fair share of 'bitch resting face'. (You can Google it.) 

So I wondered if maybe the vibe I was getting was a result of misreads from my bitch face or that people were taking my extreme shyness to be aloofness (that happens to me a lot as well). I have been trying to smile more and be more aware of the expressions on my face. It hasn't seemed to help here, but the last couple weeks I've been running around like crazy during the day and people in Asheville respond kindly to me, but not so much the folks in our little town. Of course, it's leaf changing season and traffic is horrible and everything is crowded, which makes me grouchy and this is my first year dealing with it. I can only imagine the frustration that results from generations' worth of tourism weariness. 

This Tuesday night was curriculum night at school. We found out about it on Monday. This is usually the way it works. Lots of missed school activities because we don't know about them and lots of schedule rearranging because we find out about stuff last minute.  I'm guessing that all the people that have lived here forever just know these things because most of them went to the same school when they were kids. ::shrugs::

At curriculum night, I got permission from Tucker's teacher to bring cupcakes to school today for his birthday. So Robert rearranged his schedule so he could meet me at school and we had lunch with Tucker and handed out cupcakes to his class. 

And I noticed another major difference. In Illinois, they encouraged non food items to celebrate birthdays - like pencils or small goodie bags that kids could take home. But in each class my kids were in, all their fellow students seemed as excited about each other's birthdays as their own. Here, all the kids in his class were sort of excited about cupcakes, (think 'woo.' versus 'WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!') but no one seemed to care why there were cupcakes there. Nothing says they have to care, it was just not the reaction I was expecting. 

We ended up with extras, so when Robert and I were signing out at the office, I offered the office staff a cupcake. I got the ol' hairy eyeball up and down the length of my body and a flat, bitchy 'no'. Um, allllllrighty then. 

Robert and I were heading back to the car after that little encounter and he says, "Wow. They are really unfriendly here." Those of you who know Robert KNOW that this is huge. He just doesn't really give two snaps about people and their attitudes most of the time. Nor does he often pay much attention to such things. So for him to have noticed AND said something? Huge. Like, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman shopping spree huge. 

And I felt this enormous sense of relief. I wasn't imagining it, I wasn't over-reacting, I wasn't obsessing or over-analyzing. People at this school are decidedly less friendly. ROBERT noticed it, for crying out loud. Without prompting of any sort. I somehow restrained myself from performing a touchdown dance of validation, but I really, really wanted to. 

I love the area we live in. It's so beautiful! People in this general area are super nice (we have incredible, friendly, kind, thoughtful neighbors). But a lot of the administrative staff and other parents that I've encountered here have not been. And I really do wonder why. 

But if you'll excuse me, I have a validation dance to do. 

Photography Friday

It's dress like a teacher day at school

Tucker tried to give Sara a kiss on the cheek. She wasn't feeling it which just made him try harder.

Puttin' on her boots

I love fall. This is the entrance to our neighborhood . 

It's going to be a beautiful day!

Gut check time

Things I am make me proud:

Loyal

Dependable

Honest

Trustworthy

Kind

Polite

Caring

Funny

Genuine

Forgiving

Things I am that do not make me proud:

Impatient

Sometimes judgmental

Procrastinating

Grudge holding

Socially awkward

Uptight

Wishy washy

Prone to dealing with my emotions by overeating

What I plan to do about it: 

Work on the negative, emphasize the positive, keep on keepin' on.