Friday, March 8, 2013

Goodbye house!

I was really sad to leave our house in North Carolina (even sadder to have to sell it at a loss because our realtor was a lying sack of rotten apples, but I digress..), I was sort of sad to leave our house in South Dakota, I was not sad at all to leave apartment housing in Germany, and I was uber sad to leave our house in Germany (still miss that one!)

I am not sad at all to leave our house in Illinois. I am terribly sad about leaving, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with our current address.

image from

I'm currently sitting on the couch wondering how on earth as much and as frequently as I've dusted in the last month there can be so much doggone dust EVERYWHERE. When we took our cable box/DVR off our tv stand, I swear the dust is 1/4 an inch thick underneath. And I dusted underneath it less then two weeks ago.


I have removed spiderwebs. I have scrubbed toilets and floors and baseboards and walls. I have dusted, swept, spot cleaned, scoured, rinsed, scrubbed, wiped, and polished. And that doesn't even include the carpet..which deserves it's own blog post of horror.

So...either we are some of the nastiest people on the planet (I sure hope not!) or...this house just all around sucks. SUCKS. SUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKS.

Guess which way I'm leaning...

So goodbye house...goodbye tiny little toilets that feel like I'm going potty in an elementary school. Goodbye poorly planned master bath that has two sinks yet no counter space and an inexplicable door between the sinks and shower/toilet that you can only close if you are standing in the tub. Goodbye crookedly installed outlets and wavy walls. Goodbye hard water that gets more things dirty than clean. Goodbye drafty windows, outlets, and doors. Thank you for freezing us out in the living area in the winter and roasting us out in the summer no matter on what temperature the thermostat is set. Goodbye sink with strange smells and the dishwasher that barely gets pre-washed dishes clean. Goodbye counter tops that stain from everything and  shingles that keep flying off in heavy winds. Goodbye kitchen corner that continues to show water damage even after it's been 'fixed'. Goodbye flickering kitchen light that never, ever flickers when maintenance comes by but flickers incessantly other times. Goodbye oddly shaped living room with many windows and no wall space. Goodbye door stoppers that you can't even manage to secure in the wall with wood putty or carpenters glue. Goodbye leaky kitchen faucet and fridge that we have to smear with Vaseline so that it will stay shut and actually keep our food at the correct temperature. And goodbye light grey/off white carpet that..well...just sucks.

I do realize how lucky we are to have a roof over our heads and that instead of being snarky I should just be grateful...because many people have way less than we do. But for today, I'm letting my snark banner fly.